Nancy Osterman

Wishin' and Hopin'

2012-02-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

Time to get caught up on my journeying once again. The days certainly slip away quickly with way too much to do and too little time.

Friday my "I Don't Like This Class" student struck again. This student aspires to be a teacher, so we had a discussion about that very topic. She said she's going to be one of the cool teachers that all her students will come back and see, and they won't do bookwork but hands-on projects all the time. She will also have a drawer full of gum so when her students want gum, she'll gladly give it to them. The voice of experience popped up to inform her that the gum she will so freely give out will wind up on the bottoms of the desk/table tops. She didn't have much to say after that. The whole conversation started because we are learning about buying a house, mortgages, taxes and insurance, etc. She doesn't understand why she needs to learn it now...why not wait until the time comes, yada, yada, yada.

Friday afternoon, the assistant principal called to see if she could "have" the sub I have scheduled for tomorrow (I'll be taking a group of students to FCCLA competition). I told her she could not, because he's the only sub I've had all year and he knows how I do things and follows my lesson plans. It seems he has accepted a long-term assignment for a teacher who is having a baby, and she was having contractions, so his long-term assignment begins tomorrow. The AP asked who my Plan B sub is and I simply don't have one, so I'm back to square one. It's such a bonus to have someone I can trust to do what I work so hard to put together for when I'm gone. Hopefully that will happen again.

Saturday morning, Jess and I worked the ACT test. When I was going to the test, I noticed that Mom and Dad's mailbox was mowed down, as were both of their neighbors'. I called her and she said they knew when it happened on Friday night...it sounded like a car ran into a brick wall...and when they looked out the window, they couldn't tell what kind of vehicle it was because by that time it was already a quarter of a mile down the road. It's a wonder the vehicle was driveable due to the damage it caused, and...the front bumper was left at the scene of the crime!

Saturday night I finally got my birthday dinner. We were both sick around the time of my birthday, so we finally made it to Joe's crabshack for seafood. Now we have Valentine's Day coming up...wonder when we'll celebrate that event??

Not much is going on today...just the usual Sunday cooking and laundry and preparation for the week ahead. I keep checking the radar and wishin' and hopin' for that snow and even sleet. Gotta have it at least once this winter!!

Happy Trails!

Another Day, Another Week

2012-02-09T16:54:00.000-08:00

Every evening this week, I've been in my fall asleep on the couch after dinner mode. Finally today, I'm vertical and am going to catch up on my journey.

Monday I went for my bi-monthly labwork and my hemoglobin count was down (9.2 and it should be 10+), so I had to get an Aranesp shot. While I was waiting, there was a family waiting as well, and I overheard their conversation and figured out that one of them had recently been diagnosed with Carcinoid. I shared everything I could with them until I was called to the back for my shot, and learned that the patient's journey was quite similar to my own...his doctor kept telling him his stomach issues were stress-related, though I don't know how long he had suffered. It was long enough that the cancer had metastasized to his liver, and he suffered from flushing. He was waiting for his first Sandostatin shot, and the family asked how long before it took effect, and I told them it was immediate. When I took my first shot, I felt drunk, and my symptoms were quickly relieved. I wanted so badly to tell them about my experience in New Orleans, but didn't think that would have been appropriate given that I was in the waiting room at Mercy Oncology...they might have frowned upon that. Hopefully he will receive good care, but I just don't think his treatment will be very aggressive.

I took the baby quilt to work for show and tell with the Lunch Bunch, and got good feedback, so I'm feeling pretty confident that the recipient will like it as well. If nothing else, she can throw it on the floor for Sawyer to play on.

Wednesday, I went to my M.D.'s office for my monthly Sandostatin shot. I absolutely dread it each time, but it DOES do a lot of good, so I'm thankful it's available to myself and others in the same boat. When I got home Danny had to run a couple of errands and offered dinner out, so I jumped on that like it was a lifeboat! The cutest tale occurred as a result...on the way home Jess called and wanted to know where we were. Danny told her we went to eat. She said, "It's Wednesday!!" (We go out on Friday and Saturday usually.) Danny told her we sometimes get spontaneous...I guess you had to be there, but we got a chuckle out of it and were flattered that she was so concerned about our whereabouts.

So, the meteorologists are all saying we're going to have some snow Sunday into Monday, so I'm praying for it AND a snow day! I went to the library today and got 3 new books just in case. Tonight it's misty and dreary and I'm loving it...

Happy Trails!!

Where Did the Weekend Go?

2012-02-05T16:54:00.000-08:00

Friday was a pretty uneventful day except for a bit of a downpour after lunch. I happened to walk through the foods lab and noticed water dripping from the vent hood over one of the cooktops. A sizeable puddle had formed by the time I saw it, but the matter was addressed quickly by the front office and maybe the problem will be taken care of soon.

By the end of the day, I was on my last leg and after our usual Friday night date dinner at Poquitos, I crashed and woke up toward the end of the first half of the Thunder game. Fortunately, the outcome was good, but not so much on Saturday night. They were just no match for Parker's 3 point shots. I'm sad this week because their games are out west and "late" so there's no way I can watch beyond the first half. I guess that's better than not being able to watch at all.

Saturday I took a carload of recycling to the center, and that always makes me feel good. I usually have a dumpster's worth and am glad to know that the landfill will be short that much trash. My students recycle as well, though not as dilitently as I would like, but I try to make an impression.

After having turned off the alarm at 5:30 this morning, (I knew Danny would soon be getting up and I didn't have to be up for church until 6:30) I awoke abruptly at 6:15 in a panic. I thought it was Monday and I was going to be late for work. Was my heart ever pounding!! I hope that wasn't a premonition of the near future!! I know it's bound to happen...it's just a matter of when!

I'm happy to say that I FINISHED the quilt (except for sewing on the label, which I have already made)!!!! What a relief to finally have it done! Now I can start one of the other 37,000 projects lurking in my mind. I certainly hope the recipient likes it...Jess still isn't convinced that it's as cool as I perceive it, and Danny has had the wisdom to keep his remarks to himself. I guess beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.

Danny and I tried the "new" Japanese hibachi restaurant which opened in Yukon recently, Tokyo Moon. I thought it was good, but Danny wasn't quite as impressed, especially for what it cost the two of us to eat. I was just worried that my wig had gotten singed when the chef lit the grill on fire!! Fotunately, all hairs were intact and unharmed.

So while reading the "Tuscan Holiday" I mentioned to Jess that we should take a mother-daughter trip this summer and visit some places in her book, "1000 Places to See Before You Die" (or something like that). She excitedly began researching and came up with a couple places she was interested in and today we decided on Chicago, for their annual food festival. We're both really excited and anxious to go...Danny is apprehensive about the 2 of us alone in a car for 10-11 hours. I guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!

Happy Trails!

Love is in the Air (or Maybe it's Severe Weather)

2012-02-02T19:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was 2-1-12, a "fact" I find worthless but cool. The weather has been in the upper 60's, which has been nice, but I'm sure wanting a snow day!! Instead, there's a chance for severe weather tonight and tomorrow with a good amount of rain on the way. Something's going to happen...I came home and was dead to the world for nearly two hours this evening.

Today is Groundhog's Day, and I never have heard whether he saw his shadow. Either way, I'm doubtful that any snow is in our future. Good thing I took a picture of the "drift" on the deck...that's probably all I'll get to see this year!

Had a bad tummy day today thanks to the tacos and jalapeno dip we had for dinner last night. I know what the next day brings, but sometimes I just crave that stuff! This, too, shall pass, and I made it through the day so everything is good (or will be in a day or two!)

The guest speaker from earlier this week came back today to talk to my marriage and family students about housing and mortgages, etc. Tomorrow they will be going to the computer lab to find a house for the family they are creating in class. So far, they've only drawn for their careers/salaries and those of their spouses, and they bugged me everyday after that about when they would get to draw for how many children they have. I sprung it on them yesterday and they were so excited. Some have twins, some have 6, and they were still talking about it today. I'm glad they're having so much fun with it, and am glad that they were so inquisitive of our guest speaker. 99% of them had no clue about down payments, or utility deposits, etc. Now if only they can/will remember what they're learning and apply it when the time comes, they'll be in good shape.

I had two students bring packages of diapers for the "Diaper Dash" we're having this month to collect diapers for the Youth and Family Services agency. My classes are in competition to see which one can bring the most diapers to support the cause. It warms my heart when the students reach outside themselves and show compassion.

Happy Trails!

January 31, the Thirty-first Step

2012-01-31T19:37:00.000-08:00

With January coming to a close, I reflect upon my journey thus far,and I think of how I have grown throughout the past month. I've spent some quality time with Jessica, and while I will always be her mom, it's nice to be able to be her friend now as well. She has certainly made us proud!

I think of perseverance when I reflect upon the stolen printer power cord fiasco (I now lock it up each and every evening when I leave school) and how the issue was finally resolved. It was frustrating but it all worked out in the end. It also makes me think of the daily grind of being a teacher, dealing with the same issues of students talking when I am, not turning in their assignments, and being less than respectful. And then one day the bulb lights up and it's clear that I've hit a nerve and they comprehend the relevance of what I'm trying to teach them. Yesterday I had a guest speaker come to my rowdiest class, and I was really concerned about how they would respond to his topic and presentation. I had warned him that they could be less than stellar, and by golly, they surprised me and were extremely attentive and the speaker actually commented on that after the students left. There was one exception, however; the young man who is extremely intelligent but not doing well grade-wise because he doesn't complete or turn in his assignments. He put his head down and appeared to sleep during the presentation. Afterward, the presenter mentioned him and summed it up quite well, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink". Sometimes it seems like there's an entire herd of them hanging out by the water! Iif only I had a crystal ball for them to gaze into their futures!

I think of patience and how sometimes I have a minimal supply of it. I hate myself for it after the fact, but some situations are just difficult to observe and cause me to lash out when I should practice what I preach and be respectful.

I think of how I'm still running behind with the "better late than never" frame of mind. For example, the baby quilt project. If only I can make it home early tomorrow and get the binding sewn around the outer edges, I can do my handstitiching while the Thunder plays tomorrow night. If only. We'll see what happens!

I think of something that has puzzled me for quite some time. It's not a new observation, but just within the past few days I noticed a single shoe in the middle of the road. How does someone lose one shoe in the middle of the road??!!

Until tomorrow, a new month, a new day and a new set of steps in my journey, Happy Trails!

January 30, the Thirtieth Step

2012-01-30T18:39:00.000-08:00

After a night of tossing and turning, I was fairly worn out today. I'm a little concerned because I had a few incidents last night where I "flushed". All of a sudden I would become really hot and the heat traveled up toward my head. If it was in fact flushing, that's not good...it means the carcinoid is active and/or my Sandostatin shots aren't working, and/or my Afinitor isn't working. Of course I don't go to the doctor until April, so I'll just have to see how it goes between now and then.

My freshman class is cooking this nine weeks, and we're having some good times! Today there were 3 groups making pie crusts from scratch. One group obviously missed the memo on how to read and follow recipe directions as well as measurement equivalents, because their crust (before they added large quanitities of additional flour) looked like cooked oatmeal before they rolled it out. I asked them how much water they put in the mixture and they put an entire cup, or 4 times what the recipe called for!!! It looked pretty pathetic after it came out of the oven and is quite thick. I'm not sure it will be worth filling tomorrow...they may have to eat the chocolate pudding separately! Hopefully it will be a learning experience for them. Needless to say, it was pretty entertaining for the rest of the class!

My classes are having a Diaper Dash during the month of February. What is a Diaper Dash, you might ask? The Youth and Family Services agency is in need of diaper donations for foster children, those at the emergency shelter and for single moms in dire straits, so my classes are having a competition amongst each other to collect the most diapers for the cause. Hopefully there will be good participation and we'll collect a lot of diapers for those unfortunate babies.

That about sums up my journey for today, so until tomorrow, Happy Trails!

January 29, the Twenty-Ninth Step

2012-01-29T16:35:00.000-08:00

The past three days have been busy ones, but I've kept stepping. Friday always brings with it a wave of exhaustion from pushing myself throughout the week. I DID, however, wake up from my post-dinner slumber in time to watch the Thunder play, having missed only a few minutes of the first quarter. They are amazing to watch, and I am certainly hooked! I'm not too happy about all the west coast games during the next few days...I just cannot stay up for a 9:30 game and get up at 5:30 the next morning for school!

Saturday was business as usual, meaning my weekly trip to Walmart (yea!). I was able to get my Saturday afternoon nap, which energizes me for the week ahead. I finished a book I began last Saturday, "Tuscan Holiday" about a mom and daughter who didn't see eye-to-eye. It was well-written, with short chapters and it was hard to put it down. Aside from the fact that after their Tuscan holiday, their relationship changed (for the better), two things jumped out at me: that a journey is made one step at a time, and one of the characters aspired to visit Maine to see a real, live moose. Hmmm...

Today I made the usual homemade biscuits for breakfast, homemade bread, and shrimp scampi for lunch. Jess came home, and I showed her the quilt I'm about to finish. She still is not sold on my choice of colors (they don't go together or match) and the main fabric still looks like 80's graffiti to her. Danny asked me what look I was going for and I told him I wasn't really going for a look and he told me I achieved my goal. Very funny! I don't care what they say...I think it's bright and colorful and coordinated and baby Sawyer will love it!! I'm finished with the borders, now all I have to do is put on the binding and I'll be done!

So, two more days left in January and 1/12 of 2012 will be history. I do not know where the time goes, but it certainly waits for no one. I'm feeling great and counting my blessings everyday, and have so many things I want to accomplish this year. I made a bucket list for 2012, but so far haven't been able to check anything off. I guess there's always New Year's Eve!!

Happy Trails!

January 26, the Twenty-sixth Step

2012-01-26T16:39:00.000-08:00

I've kept journey-ing, but haven't been able to sign in on my blog for several days, and I can feel the tension building. Talk about frustrating! Sometimes I get so mad at Yahoo I feel like heaving my laptop off the Devon tower!! But, I'm up and running (at least for the time being), so I'm going to get caught up on the excitement that is my life...

Jessica and I went to the Home and Garden Show last Saturday afternoon (big mistake) and was it ever crowded!! My intent for going was to pick up some current information to use in my housing and home furnishings class. Between all the strollers and scooters and boozers waiting in line for samples of the frozen wine concoctions, I couldn't see many displays (or get to them) and all I wanted to do was get out of that place fast. I think we made it through four of the five buildings and called it quits in less than an hour. It was nice to spend time with Jess but we were both tired and frazzled.

This week has been a good one, and has gone by the class. Never would I have thought of telling one of my teachers something like that, much less say it, and especially in the middle of a discussion!! My how students have changed over the years! The "Lunch Bunch" constantly discussions situations just like that one and the lack of tact is not limited to one or two classes...it's across the board. Teaching is NOT for the faint of heart!!

I've been working diligently on the baby blanket I had hoped to have finished over Christmas break. I have now advanced to the outside borders (I have one sewn on) and once I complete those, all I have to do is sew on the binding, make the label, and sew it on. Jessica did not like the fabrics I chose at all, (she said the main fabric looks like 80's graffiti) so I was somewhat apprehensive about using it, but I must say that the colors are coming together quite nicely. It will be colorful if nothing else, and hopefully the new mom and baby will enjoy it. Her doctor was inducing labor today, but I haven't heard if she has had the baby yet. As usual, my gift is better late than never!!

That's about the extent of things, so until the next time, Happy Trails!

January 20, the Twentieth Step

2012-01-21T06:38:00.000-08:00

It was payday, jeans day and Fri-day, so it just doesn't get much better than that! My second day back this week found me with a scratchy throat and sinus pressure, but enough energy to get me through the day and get some good things accomplished. As usual, I stayed until nearly 5 p.m. entering grades until I became cross-eyed and had to give up the ghost. When I got home, I asked Danny if he was ready to go eat, and he told me "not just yet". Usually he's chomping at the bit to go the minute I hit the door, so his response surprised me. I was surprised yet again when the door opened and in walked Jessica! It was pretty cool.

My freshmen began cooking today, making homemade biscuits. There were 6 students in 2 kitchens and I must say that both batches turned out great! Both were very tasty and the texture was great, and BEST of all, they did a great job cleaning up their messes! Two more days of lab next week, then we'll begin making pies with homemade crusts. They're a really good group, and I enjoy them a lot.

The lunch bunch celebrated January birthdays (there are 2 of us) and in addition to a really sweet card and wishes, I'm the proud owner of a Sonic gift card!! Lots of Route 44's in my future!

Until next time, Happy Trails!

Thursday, January 19, the 19th Step

2012-01-19T20:42:00.000-08:00

Day 19 found me back at work (a few minutes early, no less!) and jumping in with both feet. Other than some sneezing and coughing, I felt like a million dollars. It was good to see my students, and I have to admit, I could get used to a 2-day work week! I don't see that happening in my near future, though. Everything went well today, and assignments were done while I was gone, so we were able to pick up and carry on without skipping a beat.

In my mailbox was a HUGE package (not in terms of size, but in terms of importance) which will make my life SOOOO much less stressful---I got my printer power cord!! It fits my printer!!! My printer works!!! And the cord is locked up for the night and will be every night hereafter to stay out of harm's way, aka sticky fingers!

My journey today led me to gratitude for something so simple as a power cord!! Until next time, Happy Trails!

Wednesday, January 18, the 18th Step

2012-01-19T20:30:00.000-08:00

Step 18 found me down for the count. My hot shower cleared my head temporarily, but I just couldn't find it in myself to go to school. I wasn't sure I had all the codes and numbers needed to submit an absence, but with some Divine intervention, I was able to get the sick day entered and acquire my go-to sub. With all that handled, I settled in for what I had hoped would be a long, healing nap. Instead, I got a fitful one and woke with a start around 9:00 a.m. thinking I had slept in and was very late for work! What a relief to realize I was where I was supposed to be!

I called my oncologist's office and my MD to see if they could suggest something over the counter that I could take to relieve some of my sypmptoms, and both suggested Mucinex, which worked really well! How nice to get rid of the headache, pain behind my eyes, and the sinus pressure! By evening, I felt like I was on the road to recovery! Danny still had to cook his own dinner, but he suffered through it.

Epiphany of the day: sometimes you just have to give in and let your body heal. Until next time, Happy Trails!

Tuesday, January 17, the 17th Step

2012-01-19T20:23:00.000-08:00

I met the day with my throat a little more sore than the day before and was glad I had taken the day off to take Dad and Mom to Dad's cataract surgery. I did a little handwork and a lot of napping before I had to pick them up. Wouldn't you know it...they were swamped at Dean McGee and we were there three hours for a 20-30 minute procedure!! It went well, but I was more than ready for a nap by the time I got home, and I know Dad was on pins and needles, but unfortunately, we don't have a bit of control over those situations.

By dinnertime, I felt really rough and Danny was on his own. I just couldn't shake the headache and pain behind my eyes, and with my liver in the shape it's in, I can't take Tylenol, so I suffered through it. Not much fun...but I know this stuff is going around like crazy right now.

No major break-throughs in my journey today, so until next time, Happy Trails!

January 16, the 16th Step

2012-01-19T20:15:00.000-08:00

Monday (the 16th) was a professional development day for us, but I took a personal day. I was glad, because I woke up with a slight sore throat and felt blah. I suffered through a necessary trip to Walmart, then spent the day working on the baby quilt currently on my plate. I made decent progress, but there is a good amount of handwork, so I have my fingers crossed that I'll have it completed before little Sawyer James makes his debut. Thunder games make for a great opportunity to do my handwork, (I LOVE to have the games on, but I'm not glued to the TV...just like to check the progress now and then) but their schedule is rather sparse this week.

The day was a great one and I was glad I was able to spend it doing what I love...sewing. Danny is getting better everyday, except for a lingering cough. Until tomorrow, Happy Trails!

January 15, the Fifteenth Step

2012-01-15T18:08:00.000-08:00

Today is the fifteenth step of my 1,000-step journey, and things are good. I turned 56 today and had a really good birthday. Jessica came home and went to church with us, then after our biscuits and gravy we all snoozed until it was time to go to Mom and Dad's for my birthday dinner. We had a "gourmet" meal of ham and beans with cornbread muffins, and Mom made my favorite cake---German chocolate!

We didn't do much of anything this afternoon, so it was very relaxing. I finished cutting out the pieces for a baby quilt that I'll be working on this week, then made homemade pizza for supper and that's about all she wrote. Until tomorrow, Happy Trails!

January 14, the Fourteenth Step

2012-01-14T17:20:00.000-08:00

Today was a really great day! Jess came home and went to the OKC winter quilt show with me. It has been a few years since I last went, and it seemed to be a lot smaller than what I remember. We picked our tickets up at will call and even though it was a few minutes before 10 a.m. (the official opening time) there were people milling about the exhibits, so we headed that direction. We were quickly halted by the Nazi at the will call booth, who demanded to know where we were going. When I managed to get a reply out, she informed us that the show didn't open until 10 and we were to have a seat "over there". After having figured out where "over there" was, we bought some over-priced nuts and had a seat to kill the 5 minutes remaining until the clock struck 10.

It didn't take us a tremendous amount of time to go through the booths, but an ink dye technique caught our attention, so after having seen everything we wanted to see we went back to the booth and purchased a kit. The results (of the demo) were really cool, so hopefully, we can figure it out.

We sat in on a lecture about fabric embellishments and the facilitator had some beautiful creations to share with the attendees. I bought her book and hope to implement some of her techniques in projects this year.

Jess and I had lunch at the Iguana Grill downtown (it was to die for!) then called it a day. Danny texted her during our venture and told her not to argue with me (we tend to butt heads since we're so much alike) and we had a good chuckle because we had a wonderful morning together. I took a long winter's nap when we got home, then Danny and I went out for Chinese food and are now settled in to Thunder up. This is my last day to be 55, and while I don't feel 55, it's kind of disheartening to be on the back side of middle age...

Until tomorrow, Happy Trails!

January 13, the Thirteenth Step

2012-01-14T05:27:00.000-08:00

Friday the 13th! It was an uneventful day with the exception of my upcoming birthday. The principals always have the library deliver balloons, a beverage and a sweet treat to staff members for their birthday, which of course leads the students to ask when the big day is. I received many "happy birthdays" and my freshman class even sang to me! I was quite touched by their gesture...we've come a long way.

Monday is a professional development day, but I'm taking a personal day to get my life in order and give my tummy a rest from stress for a day. I'll be gone Tuesday because my dad is having surgery on his left eye, so I was scrambling to get plans and copies ready before I left school. Again with the locked principal's office, promptly at 4, and I had nowhere else to print what I needed to print. I will be soooo happy when my printer cord arrives and am going to be soooo disappointed if it doesn't work!

Danny has been under the weather the past couple of days. When I got home Thursday evening, he was prone on the couch and his face was beet-red. Fortunately, no stomach issues were involved, only head and sinus issues, but I could tell he felt pretty poorly. Friday he worked a few hours then came home to rest. There's a LOT of that stuff going around...and those who have it seem pretty miserable. Hopefully by the end of the weekend he'll be up and at 'em!

Happy Trails!

January 12, the Twelfth Step

2012-01-14T05:17:00.000-08:00

When I finished blogging the other evening, a website link popped up for prontocharger.com, with info indicating that they sell HP printer cords. I clicked on it, and sure enough, they have a cord which they guarantee will fit any HP photosmart printer, and with shipping and handling, it was less than the basic price of the cord from HP! I was apprehensive and excited all at the same time, but I immediately placed my order (hoping all the while I wasn't going to get ripped off). I felt some comfort in reading that they accept school purchase orders (yea...I know anyone can put anything on a website), but I just really feel this is the ticket. I received a confirmation email the next morning with tracking information, so I should get it sometime next week...now if it will only fit!

The arctic blast that went through brought us the tiniest bit of snow...I even took a picture of the "drift" which accumulated on the back deck; it was maybe 1/2" deep. I have a feeling that's going to be the extent of our snow this year. :(

Until the next time, "Happy Trails!"

January 11, the Eleventh Step

2012-01-11T16:48:00.000-08:00

And the beat goes on...I called the office supply store in search of a printer which uses the inkjet cartridges I have stockpiled for my defunct printer, explained my situation, and the kind person at the other end of the line said she would check into it for me and see if she might be able to get a power cord for me for less than I had been quoted by HP. That way, I wouldn't have to buy a new printer and would be able to use the one I've had since August, 2011. I'm not going to hold my breath, nor am I going to get hopeful that this will be resolved anytime soon, but it would certainly be nice if she could pull it off.

I called the local Radio Shack to see if they carried any type of generic power cords, and received about as much care and assistance as if I had asked for an abortion clinic! Needless to say, I won't be going there.

On a positive note, the Miss YHS applications have hit the street, and I had several young ladies come by to pick one up. Hopefully we'll have around 20 girls, which will be a lot of fun.

On another positive note, I've noticed a HUGE difference in my demeanor since I've been on this blogging journey daily (sort of). I had heard that journaling is a great stress reliever, and it certainly works! Now that the artic blast has hit (sounds like the north wind is going to blow the house down!) I'm going to hunker down under a couple of blankets and watch the Thunder and Hornets play. Until tomorrow, "Happy Trails".

January 10, the Tenth Step

2012-01-11T16:40:00.000-08:00

My life is still engulfed in the "invisible cord" caper, which I thought I had licked once and for all. I decided to bite the bullet and buy another printer just like the one I currently have. I submitted the purchase order, felt a weight lift off my shoulders and knew for certain that life was good. Wrong! I got a phone call later in the day saying the office supply store either no longer sells that particular printer, they didn't have it in stock, or HP no longer makes it...I'm not sure of the exact details of that scenario, but no matter how you slice it, I was back to square one with no cord and a printer I cannot use.

On a positive note, however, we had a good FCCLA meeting during lunch, and are making plans for the 3rd annual Miss YHS pageant and the annual blood drive. I'm looking for non-Yukon related judges, so anyone who knows anyone, let me know!

And with that, I bid you "Happy Trails".

January 9, the Ninth Step

2012-01-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

Today found me feeling a little puny. I was glad I had doctors' appointments because I didn't feel well enough to go to work, yet I would not have called in. I got up early with great intentions of accomplishing something before my first appointment, but crawled back into bed after I got dressed. When I got home, I had plans to do something before I had to leave for my next appointment this afternoon, but again, I crawled into bed until it was time to leave. Guess you just have to do that sometimes.

My blood counts were low, so I had to have my Anaresp shot. My platelets are low, but not low enough to have a transfusion. Dr. Armor thought I looked good and since I seem to be doing good, I don't have to go back until the first part of April. Before my next visit, I'll have to have a PET scan to check the results of the bland embolization. All good news!!

This afternoon, I went in for my monthly Sandostatin shot. The needle clogged, so the nurse had to inject me a second time. I'm sure I'll feel those results within a day or so!

Mom also had an appointment with Dr. Armor, and he can't figure out why her blood counts are all out of whack. Of the options available to her, she chose to drop some of her non-essential daily supplements, one at a time, then have labwork done to see if there are any changes. Everything is the same as it was in November, so at least things are not getting any worse.

I'm happy to say that all my Christmas things are packed up and in the closet!!! Now we'll see how long it takes Danny to dismantle the tree and put it away! I also did some light cleaning, made "Steak Bombs" for dinner (I'll post a picture) and finished cutting out fabric squares for a quilt. One of my co-workers is due the last week of January and I'm now in baby quilt mode until I get it finished. It's a simple design so it shouldn't take too long.

Jessica and I are going to the OKC Winter Quilt Show this Saturday and I'm really excited for that! I haven't been in several years. I just hope she isn't bored to tears!

Going to call it a day, I think, so Happy Trails!

Januay 8, The Eighth Step

2012-01-08T19:34:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrated the Epiphany at church, even though Friday was the actual date. The 12th day of Christmas. Time to take down the decorations and store them for another year. Not enjoying the defrocking as much as the decorating, I put it off and off and off, but finally manged to get the decorations off the tree. Now it's Danny's turn to box it up and heft it into the loft in the garage. As for packing and storing the decorations, that's on tomorrow's to-do list. At least I've begun the process...

Beyond that, we shared the day with Jessica, and chilled since it was a cool, overcast day. She requested spaghetti and homemade bread, which I made, and she and Danny were both most complimentary of the results of my efforts. Sometimes things don't have much flavor to me and today was one of those days, so I'll just go with their opinions and say it was great!

I had nosebleed again today, which seems to be happening quite frequently. I'm afraid my platelets are still low, but I guess I'll find out all about that when I go to the doctor tomorrow. Jess told me today that on a recent episode of Grey's Anatomy, they had a patient with carcinoid. I didn't see it so I don't know how informative it was, but I'm glad it's becoming more public. People certainly need to become more informed and take their health into their own hands. We trust health-care workers to guide us in the right direction, but sometimes our gut feelings are more spot-on than their medical diagnoses.

That about sums up our Sunday. I had a couple of really good naps, so I'm ready to hit the ground running tomorrow. I'm still dealing with the printer power cord issue and can't decide whether to just get the cord (my invisible one isn't working) or spend a few more $ and get a new printer (even though I've had mine only a few months)...

Happy Trails!

The Seventh Step, January 7

2012-01-07T20:15:00.000-08:00

Today was a day of reduction. I took a carload of recycling to the center this morning, then loaded it back up with a bunch of stuff to take to Goodwill next week. What a liberating feeling!!

I recently suggested to Danny that some weekend when the weather is nice, we go to Bricktown, walk around and eat. Turns out, this was that weekend! We went to Shepler's to exchange a Christmas gift, then to Bass Pro to do the same, then walked from there to Earl's BBQ for a bite to eat. That was the first time either of us had eaten there, and it was fabulous!! We really enjoyed the food and had talked about going next door to get ice cream, but that just wasn't possible. It was really a pleasant evening and we enjoyed the lingering Christmas lights along the canal and had just enough of a walk to settle our dinners.

All that, and we got home just in time to watch Thunder basketball and call it a night. It feels good to actually DO something we've talked about instead of just talking, so I'd call it a great day!!

Happy Trails!

The Sixth Step, January 6

2012-01-07T11:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm sad to say that the power cord would not fit my printer, but I'm still most grateful to the young man at Staples who took a moment to care. Meanwhile, I find it extremely stressful that I do not have the capability to print something in my classroom! The closest printer is not many yards from my room, but this is how things went down on Friday: I sent something to print (which I needed to give the students during that class period) and the toner was out. Another hour I sent something else (which I needed to give to the students that hour) and the paper tray was empty and the person printing the ba-zillion packets was nowhere to be found. At the end of the day, I was trying to get lesson plans ready for my sub on Monday (I have an oncologist appointment) and when I went to pick up my class rosters from the copier, I asked the secretary how long she would be there (5-10 minutes) and I hadn't even begun to type Monday's instructions!! And of course, my key won't unlock that office door, but the secretary graciously left the door ajar so I could go pick up my copy (nearly 30 minutes later). Something is definitely wrong with this picture!!

Happy Trails!

The Fifth Step, from Zero to Hero

2012-01-05T22:42:00.000-08:00

The fifth step of my journey focused heavily on trying to solve the mystery of my missing printer power cord. Over Christmas break, someone "borrowed" it, and no one seems to care. I called Staples to see if perhaps they carried them, which they do not, nor are they able to order them. The person I spoke with graciously gave me the 800 number for HP, which I promptly called so I could hopefully get up and running again in the near future. My first attempt led me in a "punch 1 for this and 2 for that" cycle where I somehow wound up back at the main menu. I slammed the phone down and attempted to find a cord on the HP website. There was only one that came up in my search, and its description didn't convince me it would work on my printer.

Back to square one, I attempted the 800 number again and hit pay dirt!! I actually made it to a human voice!! Trouble was, I could hardly understand what the man was saying, if you get my drift. I finally determined that the cost of the cord ($35) plus their standard shipping fee ($18) totalled over half what I paid for the printer to begin with (that explains why someone borrowed my cord) and when I complained to the customer service rep, he "generously" offered me a 15% discount ($5 reduction) which still made the cord cost half what I paid for the printer!! I never realized that the expense of a printer was in the cord and not the actual printer...interesting.

Apparently there are no provisions for all the losses many of us have experienced this year from someone permanently "borrowing" items from our rooms, and we are simply out of luck. Frustrating. However, the hero in this story is at Staples. I had some things to pick up after school, and explained my dilema to a very nice guy who went above and beyond in the helpful area. He asked me to wait a few moments while he went to the back to check on something. When he came back, he was carrying a cord that looks like it has the same configuration as my printer and the cost was much more reasonable. I don't know if it will fit, but whether it does or not, he cared and he took the extra step to help me, and I am very impressed with his integrity. He didn't have to help...he could have blown me off...but he not only helped but went above and beyond. Now that's state of the art!!

Happy Trails!

Fourth Day, Fourth Step

2012-01-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

Today's step was tentative and tired. Yesterday I had bloodwork done and found out that my platelets are fairly low, which explains the constant nose bleed I had all day (yesterday) and well into the midnight hour. When I finally fell asleep, it seemed I had barely blinked an eye before the alarm went off and I met the day. It seems many of us had a cross to bear...so many people complained of being really tired today. I guess it will take a few days to get back in the swing of things.

At the risk of jinxing the situation, I seem to have a really good group of students this semester. My evlauating principal spoke to all my classes yesterday about my health issues and how to handle things if they feel sick in my class. "The talk" worked really well last semester and I got sick only once, with some type of sinus/head junk. I'm so appreciative of the support system I have at work; everyone has been and continues to be so kind, caring and concerned.

I'm excited to have a new class in my line-up...Housing and Home Furnishings. I've never taught it before, but given my love for decorating and HGTV, I'm anxious for the opportunity. My freshman class will be studying foods this 9 weeks, so I demonstrated how to make chocolate biscuits today. I saw the recipe in the paper recently and it sounded really good, so I gave it a shot. It turns out that the aide who went to Walmart to get supplies yesterday failed to put the groceries away, including the milk needed in the recipe, so after having sat on the counter all night I had to use water as the liquid. The flavor and texture were greatly impacted, plus I wasn't able to make the chocolate sauce to serve with the biscuits. Can't wait to discuss the results tomorrow!! Just goes to show that none of us is successful in the kitchen all the time.

I tried a new recipe for dinner tonight...meatball sandwiches. While good enough, I have some tweaking to do to improve the flavor, and am anxiousto do so. Jessica's opinion was that the meatballs were too big and I knew Danny wouldn't like them, so I made him a burger. We'll see what I can come up with.

Until tomorrow, Happy Trails!

Step Three

2012-01-03T19:18:00.000-08:00

Back to school for a little while today, and it took nearly 3 hours to get all my grades entered and submitted. At least that's behind me for 9 weeks, and for that I'm extremely grateful. My dad had cataract surgery this afternoon in his right eye, and fortunately all went well. The nurse told him as she prepped him for surgery that he was going to be able to see so much better afterward. I'm sure his sight had gradually gotten worse and worse, to the point that he probably wasn't even aware of just how bad it was, so when the patch comes off and he's finished with his eye drops, he'll see a whole new world!

As I took the third step of my journey today, I couldn't keep from thinking about selfishness. So many of us focus on "me" and not "we", and that stifles our growth so much. Whether we're impatient with others, only in it for the benefit to ourselves, or only caring about our own feelings and not those of others, we cannot possibly complete our life's journey with a selfish attitude. We all have our crosses to bear, and how we embrace, understand and carry those crosses impacts us and those around us.

I recently read an article about a woman, probably about my age, who felt she had made nothing of her life since graduation (she's a nurse). Recently divorced, she was trying to get her finances to balance and trying to adjust to being single. Her thoughts wandered back to her junior high days and the "bright spot" in her life...her home ec class. She remembered the teacher making her feel noticed and she always found something positive to say about her students' projects. Thirty years later, she still used what she learned in home ec. No matter how tough things got, she could motivate herself by sewing, cooking or decorating. She even had a second career as a decorating consultant.

The woman decided to tell her former home ec teacher how much she had impacted her life, so she found her address and mailed her a letter to let her know just what her encouragement had meant to her all those years ago. Three days after having mailed the letter, the teacher called her at work to thank her for the letter and insisted that the woman visit her. The next night, she did so. Over a cup of tea, the teacher brought out her copy of the junior high yearbook and found the woman's picture. In it, she was wearing a skirt she had made out of her mother's old drapes, which were about to be thrown away. Mortified, the woman listened as the teacher praised her for her creativitity and imagination, then went on to tell the teacher that she was convinced she was a failure. The teacher pointed out that everyone feels that way from time to time, and brought to the woman's attention the fact that she works with people who really need her. Come to find out, the woman was a published author, and had saved a log cabin from being bulldozed down, fixed it up with antiques, and was living there.

What an inspirational story!! I left it for my students to read today in my absence with a note to let them know I want to be that teacher to them. I want to be unselfish in respect, compliments, encouragement, and most of all in successfully teaching them the tools they need to survive in a sometimes difficult and selfish world.

Happy Trails!

The Second Step

2012-01-02T20:05:00.000-08:00

The second step of my journey created mass chaos. I made the mistake of going to Walmart and Kohl's, and while I was able to finally do some after-Christmas shopping for next year's supplies, my dining room table has once again become the catch-all for most of it. However, my to-do list this week includes taking down the tree and packing it all away, so that will help create some order.

I spent a good portion of the afternoon grading so I can input grades by tomorrow's deadline of 4:00. Unfortunately, the remote capability of entering grades at home won't work on our internet, so I have my work cut out for me at school tomorrow. The good news is that I have a sub all day because my dad has an appointment, so I'll have a couple of hours before the appointment to get things done.

Another chunk of my step today went toward completing a "Me Collage" to share with my students. I made it on a boot box and will encourage them to recycle something on which to make theirs this week, rather than using the usual poster board. It turned out well, but there's just no end...I keep finding things to add (and I'm about out of room) and keep thinking of things I left off (and I'm about out of room). It's fun to see how much mine has changed since the one I made 5-ish years ago. What a journey I've had, and I'm grateful for every step!

As my winter break comes to a screeching halt, I'm glad for all the things I set out to do and actually accomplished, but have no remorse for the things I didn't get done. The biggest task at hand (next to un-decorating) is to make a baby quilt for a teacher who is due in the very near future. Her baby shower was on December 10, but since I was unable to attend, I decided to focus on the project over break. However, between having to majorly de-stress and finish Christmas tasks and the bland embolization procedure (and recovery), I simply ran out of time. Perhaps the third step...

Happy Trails!

January 1, 2012

2012-01-01T18:17:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! As 2012 gets off to a rolling start, I am setting off on my inspirational "journey". For nearly 56 years I have woven my way through life, not appreciating as much or as deeply as I should have the people, places and things which I have had the good fortune to encounter. I don't know if it has something to do with being "middle-aged" or if I had an epiphany, but I have come to the realization that time is limited and most people don't get an advanced warning of when their time will come. I look back at all the time I've wasted, the clutter I've collected, the opportunities I passed up, and am now on a journey to utelize every minute, reduce, seize the moment.

I know it won't happen overnight, and when I take stock, I become extremely overwhelmed, but my motto today is, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." (Lao Tzu) How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. How do you make a journey? One step at a time. Happy Trails!!

Auld Lang Syne

2011-12-31T13:01:00.000-08:00

The last few hours of 2011 are quickly passing and I say, "Good riddance!!" to chemo and "Hello" to my new journey for 2012. Journey is my spiritual word for the upcoming year as I continue along the path I've been given, in anticipation of growing, living and surviving. But first, some loose ends to tie up since April.

The last time I blogged, I spoke of ascites and aspiration. In total I went through the process four or five times from beginning to end before I was put on two diuretics to maintain the fluids in my body. The largest amount of fluid aspirated was 5 liters, collected by Dr. McCollum (with whom I would be reaquainted in December). Since being put on the water pills, I haven't had any problem with fluid collecting in my abdomen, but my blood counts have to be strictly monitored for kidney damage/failure from the pills.

In April, I began the first of what was to have been six chemo treatments (even though carcinoid is NOT noticeably affected by chemo) because my oncologist felt the liver tumors were becoming more aggressive and that the carcinoid may not have been as slow-growing as once believed. I called the doctor in New Orleans who suggested that chemo was not the way to go...it would offer only a 15% efficacy, and would not be worth losing my hair plus all the other side effects I would suffer. Danny and I discussed it and decided that we had too many cooks in the kitchen and we needed to pick one and go with it. We went with my oncologist here and proceeded with chemo. I admire the strong folks who are able to drive themselves to and from their treatments and who have the wherewithall to function "normally". That was not the case with me. The first round wasn't too terrible, but after the second, I began to lose my hair, so Danny shaved my head. Jessica graduated UCO on May 6 and looking (and feeling) like something the cat dragged in, I proudly attended her commencement. I never returned to school for the rest of the semester, which meant that not only was I letting my students down, but my friends had to pack up all the stuff in my room for the big move to the new high school. I felt terrible in more ways than one. I am tremendously grateful for the prayers of friends and family and for the special effort of Karen, Murphy, Tracy, Laurie, Pat, Carol and everyone else who went above and beyond mere friendship. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends.

June 7 rolled around, and I had completed 3 of 6 treatments. I was feeling especially weak that day as well as sick to my stomach and light-headed. Each time I went to the bathroom, I felt as though I might pass out. Mid-morning, it actually happened. I was home alone, had finished in the bathroom and was headed back to bed when everything went yellow. I'm not sure, but I think I hit the floor and burned my face on the carpet, because I sported a nasty scrape and bruise for several weeks thereafter. Sometime later, I awoke in bed, not really sure how I got there. Around lunchtime, I talked to Danny on the phone and let him know I had passed out, but he wasn't terribly alarmed until he came home later and saw my face. He called the doctor, who instructed him to take me to the emergency room (NO!!!) to be checked out. I had never been to the ER before, but none of the stories I had heard were good ones, and I wasn't sure I could sit in a wheelchair for hours on end until they got around to me. Not the case...I checked in, was immediately wheeled to an exam room, then to a holding room then had a CT scan, then had my stomach aspirated all within a very short amount of time. It was determined that I was malnourished, dehydrated and in very bad shape, so I was admitted for 11 days. During that time, I became neutrapenic, which meant I could not have fresh fruits, vegetables, or pepper, and could not be around fresh flowers. Visitors had to wash their hands before coming in my hospital room and had I gotten sick with something as simple as the common cold, it would have been very bad for me. I battled with platelet counts and blood counts and potassium levels and had several transfusions while there. The day finally came when I was able to go home, but I was still very weak and sick. I honestly didn't know how I would be able to report to work on August 1.

Later that month, my oncologist decided chemo wasn't worth killing me with, so he put me on a drug that had recently been approved for neuroendocrine tumors, Afinitor. After a month or so, I was doing so well on it that he had me cut the dose in half, and he also had me cut the dose of water pills in half. The worse part of Afinitor is that it made me itch like crazy, but after time, that went away.

In October I had a PET scan and was given good news that the tumor in my liver had shrunk and that one in my chest had completely disappeared. So I was rather surprised when in November, I received a call from my oncologist's office to let me know that Interventional Radiology would be contacting me about an upcoming procedure. Apparently, my oncologist had shown my liver specialist my films and it was his determination that I have a bland embolization to cut off the blood supply from the tumor in my liver. Enter Dr. McCollum. Danny and I met with him and he spoke of two tumors in my liver (I think he had the wrong films) and that bland embolization would be the best approach at this time. It's the same procedure I had done in the Spring of 2010 (chemo embolizations) except there was no chemo involved. A catheter is put into the hepatic artery up into the liver and beads are shot into the tumor to block off the blood supply, which in turn, kills the tumor. This time, the side effects were to be minimal...flu-like symptoms and lack of energy.

Danny was not at all in favor of the procedure because it was not a critical situation...it could have waited. I, however, was 100% for it because I hope to have a summer break this year to do some of the things that I haven't been able to do the past 2 summers because I was recuperating from surgery and chemo. So, this past Tuesday, Dec. 27, I went in for the procedure. I was to be there at 6 a.m. and the procedure was to be at 8 a.m. I was prepped and parked outside the procedure room when Dr. McCollum came by and said that my platelets were too low to do the procedure. So they wheeled me back to the holding area, ordered platelets and even before all of them had been absorbed, I was taken back to the procedure room and the fun began. Not being a big fan of needles in my gut, I did not respond well to the needle the doctor was numbing my hepatic artery with, to the point of a knee-jerk reaction when he touched my leg with the needle. He was not at all happy with me, but finally was able to get me to relax enough to deaden the area and proceed. Being three hours behind schedule, I just knew I would have to spend the night at the hospital, but by 5 or so, I was home. The rest of that day and the next were great...the next two not so much, but other than being tired, I'm feeling pretty good today. The Doctor said everything went really well and that if the need arises, there's a less invasive method for reducing tumors that we can do the next time (radio frequency ablation), which is actually the procedure I had requested this time, but the tumor's shape wasn't condusive to that type of procedure.

Backstepping just a little, Danny and I went to Houston November 11 for a Neuroendocrine Tumor Patient Education day at M.D. Anderson. It was very informative and exciting because of all the advancements being made in NET treatments. Unfortunately, we didn't pay much attention to the embolization or ablation procedures because we didn't think they applied to me at this point, but we still learned a lot and feel I'm on the right course of action. While there, we crammed a lot into a little amount of time. After the NET day, we headed to Galveston, but it was pitch black by the time we got there (thanks to Houston traffic), but we ate at a wonderful restaurant called "Fish Tales" and had the absolute best shrimp we've ever eaten!! We also saw a beautiful full moon in the Gulf of Mexico. On Saturday, we spent the morning/early afternoon with my cousin George and his wife Reba and watched the OSU game, then went to the Johnson Space Center. We then met up with George and Rega again and went to "T-Bone Tom's", a rustic restaurant which has been featured on "Diners, Dives and Drive-ins" (Guy Fieri) where we had another wonderful shrimp meal. Sunday morning, we got up at dark-thirty, drove home and had all afternoon to relax and get ready for the week ahead.

In closing, December 16, 2011 marked my two-year survival anniversary, for which I am most grateful. I look forward to my journey to year number three! God Bless!!

In Like a Lion

2011-04-04T17:35:00.000-07:00

After suffering from bloating and discomfort for 3 months, I had an appointment with my primary care physician on March 3. He diagnosed me with "Ascites", which is an abnormal collection of fluid in the abdomen, and is most often caused by chronic liver disease. He sent me to radiology for an ultrasound and it was estimated that I had 1-2 liters of fluid on my abdomen. He then put in a rush request for a paracentesis (aspiration of the fluid), and finally on March 9, the procedure was performed. It wasn't a particularly bad experience except for the needle in my gut to deaden the area. It was the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced. Once that was done, the rest of the procedure was a breeze and only took about 20 minutes to collect the 2.5 quarts of fluid which had collected.

When I asked the doctor what caused the fluid to build up, he said it was due to my carcinoid, but the info Danny found online pointed to liver problems, with cancer as a lesser cause. I asked if the fluid was likely to build up again, and he said it would. Little did I know that it would only take 3 weeks...I had the second procedure done today after school...the needle still hurt like crazy and I was so bloated and in so much pain that I just knew he would draw 3 quarts, but once again, it was 2.5 quarts. Right now I'm feeling a lot better. It was so bad this morning that I couldn't button my slacks...I had to wear wind pants to school!

In the meantime, Jessica turned 22 on the 13th, the day she left for Orlando on UCO's alternate spring break. They helped out at an organization that helps terminally ill children realize a wish. That week, I had an octreotide scan and various other lab work to check on the status of my cancer. When I met with my oncologist on the 25th to find out the results, I was blindsided with news that I had not expected...

All my tests came back good...nothing showed up on the octreotide scan, which according to my oncologist is somewhat a false positive. He suggested that the carcinoid may not have been releasing hormones which are detected by the scan. Further, the rest of the lab work indicated no change, which again, might mean that no hormones were being released and were not detected.

Due to the fluid building up in my abdomen and the results of the scans and tests, my oncologist feels that my carcinoid may not be the "slow-growing" kind, but rather a more aggressive type and he said I need chemo. Now, keep in mind that carcinoid is not typically affected by chemo, but in a state of shock, I went through the motions of setting up an appointment to begin treatment today. This diagnosis was made without the benefit of a PET scan, but he was to set that up for last week so the results would be in before chemo began.

My brother-in-law has cancer and had fluid build-up in his abdomen as well, and had to go through chemo, so Danny called his sister to get the scoop. She couldn't believe that all this had been set up without having done a PET scan. So we began to have our doubts. I had gotten copies of all the scan reports from my oncologist and faxed them to New Orleans along with a letter explaining the situation. The next business day, the doctor from New Orleans called me, and said that mine is a well-defined tumor that will not respond to chemo. He also suggested I make an appointment with my surgeon (Dr. Boudreaux) and the oncologist down there to get their opinions. Further, he refused to call my oncologist here to discuss my case because he tends to make people mad. (Not too impressed with that comment.)

Danny and I let it ride for about a week, and I had the epiphany that I do in fact need to go to New Orleans for an appointment. I called today and spoke with the nurse who is the doctor liason and explained that Dr. Woltering told me I needed to make an appointment with Dr. Boudreaux and the oncologist to discuss the fluid in my abdomen and my treatment. For the 2nd time in my life, a doctor's office refused to make an appointment for me. She said that there is a doctors meeting tomorrow morning and that she will bring up my case so they can discuss it. Also, I am to call her Wednesday after my PET scan (it finally got scheduled) with the name of the chemo the doctor here wants to use. Once I have the latest reports, I'm to send them down there to be looked at and they'll take it from there. She also suggested a water pill to help eliminate the build-up, but my oncologist didn't want me to take water pills (though I don't remember why---I was in a bit of shock when he gave me that bit of info).

I feel like I'm floating in space with nowhere to go and just don't know what to do. I want to know the cause of the Ascites so that can be fixed. I don't think I need chemo, but of course, I'm no expert...just someone going off her gut instinct. If it weren't for the Ascites, I would be feeling pretty great. Chemo scares me (even though Danny and I went the day after my diagnosis and bought 2 wigs) and I just don't want to go through it if it's not going to help me.

In closing, please say a prayer for me. I appreciate you!

Tummy Troubles

2011-02-10T09:49:00.000-08:00

So the CT scan I had done ($7,000 worth!!) on January 17 turned out OK. There were no changes since the last scan back in October. Good news, yes, but the bad news is that my stomach was still hurting and no one seemed to have a clue as to why. I finally stumbled upon caffeine as being a trigger, so I stopped drinking coffee, and that helped somewhat, but I noticed that by the end of the week (when we've worked full weeks) it was hurting almost as badly as before. So it would seem that the major culprit is stress. The snow days have really been a blessing, but now it's back to the real world, and most likely the discomfort.

My oncologist's nurse called me at the end of the day last Friday (Feb. 4) to see how I was doing (which impressed me), and suggested I might go see a gastric specialist if things don't improve. That was already in my thoughts...I just hadn't gotten around to making the phone call.

Today I'm Gonna Party Like it's my Birthday!

2011-01-15T06:32:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I havn't blogged since November, but no news is good news!! Not much has been happening other than I reached an important milestone on December 16...one year of survival. I truly feel blessed and am extremely grateful. I have to admit, though, that I constantly wait for the other shoe to fall, and I can't forget my oncologist's statement that I may not live until 60. As of today, that's five years. I don't dwell on it by any means, but the seed has been planted...

Since my surgery, I've had a really sore stomach (it hurts to inhale deeply) and sometimes it gets hard as a rock. I've watched my diet closely (only tan food and no raw vegetables, Dr. Pepper or sweets) and it seems to make no difference...the pain is still there. Needless to say, I'm gradually adding back into my diet some of the things I have really missed. I also noticed a bump on the right side of my navel (where I've had a pain since surgery and which every doctor I told quickly blew off). Last month my family doctor told me to take GasX for my stomach issues, but DID diagnose a hernia near my navel. It's really small right now, so no surgery in my immediate future, but eventually it will have to be dealt with. It doesn't hurt...just looks gross.

Meanwhile, the pain became so excruciating that I called my oncologist's office to schedule an appointment and (this has NEVER happened to me before) the person I spoke with would not schedule me!!! I'm already scheduled for the end of March, but I cannot wait that long. I explained to the nice lady the issues I was having and she relayed the info to the nurse. When the nurse called me back, her first question was whether I was taking pain pills. No...I have to be able to drive and work!!! So that was the solution...prescribe pain pills for me and schedule a CT scan to see what's going on. At least I AM scheduled for a CT scan and hopefully it will give the doctor an idea of why I'm in so much pain. Fortunately, they were able to schedule it for this Monday and we're out of school, so I don't have to worry about a sub and lesson plans.

Other than my stomach problems, everything else is going well. I had an absolute melt-down Thursday night, which I really needed to release the stress which had been building for a while. I'm supposed to avoid stress and try really hard to do so, but it comes with the territory when one is a teacher...it would certainly help if parents would take ownership of their students and their educations rather than expecting teachers to do it all. We are certainly thankful for the parents who do!!! :)

So that's my news for awhile. I am 55 today, so will "enjoy" seeing my age on speed limit signs for the next year, and oh yeah...I'm eligible for SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNTS at some places!!! Can't say I'm very excited about that "perk" just yet...

Third Time's the Charm!

2010-11-15T16:19:00.000-08:00

I met my 3rd oncologist on Friday, November 5 and really like him! His name is Dr. Armor, and I was very impressed. He had reviewed my records before I arrived, so he knew something about my circumstances. I asked him if he would have a problem working with my doctors in New Orleans, and he said, "I don't know why I would!", and that spoke volumes. He reiterated that all the scans showed nothing on my mesentery, so the procedure of packing chemo-soaked foam into/around the tumor seemed to have worked!! Brilliant!!

Dr. Armor was surprised at my appearance...he told me I don't look "sick" and that he had expected to walk in and find me in a wheelchair after the extensive surgery I had this past May. I'm certainly not a bundle of energy and the tedious behavior(s) of my students wear me down by the end of the day, but I feel blessed to be in the shape I'm in. I could certainly be a lot worse.

When I handed Dr. Armor my list of tests and scans to be done before my next trip to New Orleans in April, he scanned it and didn't agree with some of them. He wasn't sure why Dr. Woltering had requested them unless they were for research purposes (on my dime), and asked if I was OK with him calling Dr. Woltering. Again, that spoke volumes. At this point, I'm not so hard-headed and dead-set that I have each and every test on the list because only 6 months will have passed since the last ones, and things DID look good after the last ones. I'll just wait and see what Dr. Armor finds out and go from there.

One thing I didn't particulary like was the fact that he spoke of my mortality. I have never wanted to know "how much time I have" and still don't, and Dr. Armor said he didn't think I'd live to be 80 and may not live until 60 (not too far in the future). I think his point was that carcinoid is still a mystery, but I truly believe that my surgery lengthened my life by quite a bit. I'm not sure what the whole "you'll always have carcinoid" is all about since the two primary tumors have been removed, unless it's because there are still spots on my liver, but I will have to take the Sandostatin shot every month for the rest of my life. I pray that something easier is developed in the near future because it hurts going in and for several days thereafter.

Tomorrow is my 11-month milestone, nearly a year since the diagnosis and I'm so thankful for all the positives that have happened during that time.

Benign Biopsy!!

2010-11-04T15:10:00.000-07:00

I had my two stitches removed today from the biopsy which was done last Thursday on the redish spot on my collar bone. It was benign (praise God!) and is actually a "capillary hemangioma". Basically, it's like a birthmark. I have no idea what caused it, but I hope no more pop up anywhere!

The MRI I had done last month showed 4 lesions in my liver, but I'm hoping they are scar tissue from the chemoembolization treatments earlier this year. I'm sending a copy of the report to New Orleans, so hopefully Dr. Woltering can clarify that for me.

The MRI

2010-10-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

I went to Mercy today (yes, on Sunday) for my first ever MRI. I thought I was going to be able to relax and snooze, but since the MRI was of my liver, I had to be an active participant. And I had to have an IV. It took about an hour, and was definitely as loud as I had been told, but I had on earphones so the tech could communicate with me when I needed to hold my breath, so that cut down on the noise a little bit. I didn't feel too claustrophobic because I was sent into the machine, and it didn't come down to meet my face. The noises were really weird...they almost had a beat to them, so I entertained myself figuring out what songs the beats resembled.

I'm so glad they offer the service on the weekend, and grateful I didn't have to miss school. The purpose of the MRI was to get a baseline, and I get to go through it again in 6 months. I should start glowing in the dark really soon...

Worldwide NET Cancer Awareness Day

2010-10-22T09:54:00.000-07:00

The very first "Worldwide NET Cancer Awareness Day" will be held on Wednesday, November 10. NET (neuroendocrine tumors) cancer is also referred to as carcinoid cancer. I have emailed the Yukon Review and the Oklahoman to see about getting an article in the paper on the 10th. For more information about the day or NET cancer, check out the website: http://www.netcancerday.org/ .

The Spot

2010-10-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

Labor Day weekend, a small, red, oval spot appeared on my collarbone. It didn't itch or bother me, it just showed up one day. A few days later, I had an appointment with my primary care physician, and he diagnosed it as a rash and told me to put Cortaid on it. I did so, but then a day later, a full-blown rash appeared. When I went to my oncologist appointment on the 27th of September, I took the name of a medicine a former doctor had given me to clear up such a rash on my midsection, and he called in the prescription, but it was the wrong one. It did, however, somewhat clear up the rash. The red spot turned brown, then red again, and the other evening it itched. After having scratched it, I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see a larger, really red spot. (That morning, the spot was brown.) At that point, I was convinced I have melanoma.

I had an appointment with my primary care physician on Oct. 21, and when he looked at it again, he didn't seem to think it was anything alarming, but scheduled me for a biopsy on the 28th. (Missing school yet again!) On the way home, I remembered that I'm to have an octreotide drip when I have any procedures done. I called Ochsner Medical Center and was told that I DO have to have the drip for a biopsy, so now my primary care physician is in the process of finding out if I really do have to have the drip. If so, the simple, 30-minute office procedure will have to be changed.

Some carcinoid cancer tumors cause unexplained rashes, and I have gotten them twice a year for the past five years. When I showed the (then brown) spot to Dr. Woltering, he blew it off and said that what I have is NOT caused by the carcinoid and that it could be skin cancer.

If it's not one thing, it's another! I still feel blessed, however.

Mixed Emotions

2010-10-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, October 19, Danny and I flew to New Orleans for my second follow-up after my surgery. We met Dr. Woltering for the first time, and I was a little put off because he knew nothing of my case. I had to tell him I had surgery in May, then he flipped through my chart and looked at the results of the tumor studies done after my surgery, and briefly looked at my recent test results. He explained in-depth how my tumors have very little activity (Dr. Boudreaux did that when Jess and I went down there in July), and explained the benefits of black raspberries in squelching the development of new blood vessels in the tumors. Dr. Boudreaux had mentioned that my tumors responded favorably to black raspberries, but didn't give us details. Dr. Woltering told us we can order freeze dried black raspberries online (which I did in July, but couldn't figure out how to consume the powder), and explained how to make a tea. The powder is very expensive (I paid $25 plus shipping for 5 oz.) and I'm supposed to consume 60 grams (2 oz) per day by drinking the tea. I don't see how it would be possible to make a tea using 2 oz of the powder...I used 1 tablespoon and that amount really thickened the tea. Sixty grams would have to make it the consistency of syrup! At any rate, I'm hoping 1 tablespoon per day will offer some benefit, because that's about all I can do!

Regarding test results, little was said about them. It seems that not much is going on right now, so we assume a wait and see pose. I asked about the enlarged lymph nodes in the cardiophrenic area, and Dr. Woltering's response was that it's like the invisible rattle snake in the corner. As long as it remains invisible, we do nothing, but when it rears its head, we remove the lymph nodes. I'm still somewhat concerned because if I'm reading the report correctly, the nodes have enlarged since a previous enlargement...hasn't the snake reared its head?

I met the dietitian, who expressed concern over the fact that I had lost weight since the last appointment (2 pounds), and it was determined that my body is not processing fat since my gall bladder was removed, so I now am taking a pancreatic enzyme called Creon with every meal and snack. I'm to take up to 3 pills with my snacks and 3 with my meals. I also have "dumping syndrome" (not my terminology) and have to change my diet. I'm not to drink with my meals (either 30 minutes prior or 60 minutes after) so the food I eat is not flushed out, and many of the foods I love now have to be eliminated. I have to keep a food diary to determine how different foods affect me, and will go from there.

I had to have a couple of vials of blood drawn (barely felt it) and am going back to see Dr. Woltering on April 5. Prior to that, I have to have all the scans and blood work done here again, so guess how I'll be spending my spring break...

Dr. Woltering asked if I had ever had an MRI done, and that's probably the only test I have not gone through. He wants one now (of my liver) and another in six months, so I'm scheduled for that this Sunday. I'm glad Mercy had that option so I don't have to miss more school.

So, with mixed emotions, I embrace the idea that I'm OK for now. I just hope that I haven't fallen through the cracks after having provided Ochsner Medical Center a hefty income for my surgery. Hopefully I still matter to them.

of the Tunnel

2010-10-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

Day 3 of the MIBG I scan on October 14 went very well. I was finished after an hour, but the radiologist wanted to see the CD containing the Octreotide scans for a reference point. Since I was covered at school until 11 a.m., I ran home to get the CD so they could copy it.

The next day, my primary care physician called to let me know he had the report and that it didn't show anything. So there truly was a light at the end of the tunnel!

...at the End...

2010-10-14T15:04:00.001-07:00

Day 2 of the MIBG I scan went better than day 1. I wore a sweatshirt and didn't get AS cold, and I napped during the scans so the time went by very quickly (I woke myself up a couple of times, snoring). At 9:10 a.m., the machine began to shake and shimmy, which was something I had never experienced and I had a feeling it was due to an earthquake. Imagine my surprise as I was driving to Yukon and heard about an earthquake at Norman!!

Day 3 went even better. I was finished in 1 hour instead of 3, but the doctor wanted a copy of the films from my Octreotide scan which was done the end of September. Of course, the CD was at home, but since I had coverage for my classes in place, I told the tech I would run home and get the CD for him to copy. I was able to get that done, plus I got a CD with the MIBG I scans to take to New Orleans. Hopefully my primary care physician will have the MIBG I report no later than Monday so I can get a copy of it to take with me as well.

Yesterday my OU oncologist's PA called me to let me know that the results of the CT scan (done earlier this month) showed that there are some enlarged lymph nodes in my cardiophrenic area (between my heart and diaphragm). She said the report said this is "worrisome" and that I should be sure to let the doctors in New Orleans know when I go there next week. I received a copy of the report in the mail yesterday, and it indicated that the lymph nodes have enlarged since they were reported enlarged in an earlier scan, so between that information and "worrisome", I'm a little concerned. I know I should have faith, and I do, but I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop...

But, there IS light at the end...

There IS Light!

2010-10-12T16:08:00.000-07:00

I completed day 1 of a 3-day MIBG I scan process, thanks to my primary care physician!! I cannot say enough good things about him...he really cares and is willing to work with my doctors in New Orleans, and had no problem ordering the scan for me (at Mercy).

I felt very comfortable going to my appointment this morning, unlike the feelings I always had when I went to OU Medical Center, so I take that as a good sign. The iodine injection went well and barely hurt, and the staff in nuclear medicine is very helpful and informative. I was ready for the scan to be over when I was finally told I had 4 minutes left...it was a LONG 3 hours of lying flat on my back without moving. It took a moment for my arms and legs to begin working again, and I get to go through the process again tomorrow.

I was given no indication of what was seen, if anything, so I'm anxious to be done with the process and get the results. The Octreotide scan supposedly was clear, but when I received a copy of the report from OU Medical Center, it said the scan was inconclusive and that a CT scan might be in order. The following week I had a CT scan, and it indicated that some lymph nodes in my cardiophrenic area are enlarged. (The cardiophrenic area is between the heart and diaphragm.) I don't know if that's anything to be concerned about, but I guess I'll know after my trip to New Orleans next week.

My primary care physician is going to refer me to a new oncologist (my 3rd), one in the Mercy system, and I'm glad for that. My stipulations were that he/she has to be willing to work with the specialists in New Orleans AND be aggressive in my treatment. I don't want to twiddle my thumbs just because I have no symptoms at the present time...I want removal or treatment or whatever it takes. I may always have carcinoid, but I don't intend to give it the run of my body!

Not so Much Light...

2010-09-28T16:16:00.000-07:00

As quickly as my hopes appeared with the news that my MIBG I scan was being scheduled, they were quickly dashed two days later when the scheduler called to let me know that nuclear medicine would not allow them to schedule the scan until the results of my octreotide scan were in...(the octreotide scan was done on Wednesday and Thursday of last week, the 22nd and 23rd of Sept.).

Danny and I went to my oncologist appointment on Monday morning, the 27th, and not expecting much, that's pretty much what I got:

My octreotide scan showed nothing...no tumors...so I asked about the tumor at my mesentery and he reiterated that there were no tumors showing up in the scan. I joyously shared with him that the procedure in which the doctor soaked some type of foam in chemo and packed it around the tumor must have worked. His quick response was that chemo doesn't work on carcinoid (so why did I have two chemoembolization treatments on my liver earlier this year which really DID kill tumors, and how is it that the tumor at my mesentery is "gone"?).
He brought up the MIBG I scan and said that he had spoken with Dr. Boudreaux in New Orleans, whose reason for wanting the scan did not convince him to order it...data doesn't support having it done. MIBG is another option for treating carcinoid, but since OU Medical Center doesn't offer it as a treatment, heaven forbid we should do the scan as a precautionary method to make sure nothing is hiding somewhere! Danny and I have both researched MIBG and it is used a lot in children, is less expensive than other scans, and detects "stuff" in bone marrow. Qubaiah said he would order the scan if I really wanted it, but in the same breath pretty much said he wouldn't. He asked if we understood his reasoning for not ordering it, and Danny told him that Dr. Boudreaux would not have ordered it if it were not important, and mentioned that the doctors in New Orleans are specialists in carcinoid (Qubaiah has only a handful of carcinoid patients). I simply smiled and shook my head in understanding...I have plan B to fall back on.
He alluded to the surgery I had in May as having been much too aggressive and said that the surgeons at OU Med Center would never be that aggressive. Guess who won't be having any surgeries there!!!??? He said that I will always have carcinoid, (which I knew) and as long as the tumors aren't bothering me there's no need to be aggressive. That comment still floors me! It's bad enough to have cancer...I sure don't want to be told "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"!
He ordered a battery of blood tests (6 vials) at the drop of a hat, so between that in one arm and the 2" bruise I have on my other from the octreotide injection last week, I'm in great shape.

And so, in conclusion, I think he's an idiot and since I need an oncologist who is aggressive about treating my cancer and who will work with my doctors in New Orleans, he will most likely be replaced.

There's Light...

2010-09-16T18:34:00.000-07:00

A couple of days have passed since I mailed "The Letter" to my oncologist, and I amazingly received a call this morning from the "scheduler" who let me know that she is in the process of getting my MIBG I scan scheduled. When I got home from school, I had a message from the oncologist's PA stating that she had spoken with Dr. Woltering in New Orleans and he still wants the test run (DUH!!!) so she's in the process of getting it scheduled. Maybe between the two of them, it will get scheduled before I go for my appointment...

As for the two blood draws that the lab needs, I thought I had better find out what the tests were for, so I called today. Sure enough, one of them is a test to see how much octreotide is left in my system toward the end of the month. I had my shot on the 8th, so it's pointless to have that test run now. The person I spoke with told me they had never even heard of this particular test, so I'm not feeling too confident in the expertise of the OU Medical Center when it comes to carcinoid...

If it Weren't for Murphy's Law...

2010-09-14T17:37:00.000-07:00

The testing continues as I prepare for my follow-up visit to New Orleans next month...

I did a 24-hour urine collection Sunday into Monday, for a test which is called a "5H1AA", a serotonin byproduct produced by the carcinoid. Hopefully it will be as low as it was the last time I had it done...the results were in the normal range. Yesterday I made the trek to the OU Medical Center to deliver my speciman, and when I got home, there was a message from someone at the lab. Of course when I returned the call, I was sent to voicemail, but the gal DID call me back at school today to let me know they needed me to come back and give 2 more vials of blood. It seems that on the first of the month when I initially went and had to wait so long, the vampires were not familiar with all the tests that had been requested and didn't even have the correct vials in which to collect my blood. Needless to say, it would have been nice to have known this bit of info yesterday, and it would have been even nicer had they had something in my file that would have caught the receptionist's eye so I could have had it done while I was there. But no...I have another trip to make to downtown or midtown OKC this week!

On another note, I'm still calling the "procedure scheduler" to find out if Dr. Qubaiah is going to order the MIBG I test that he insisted I do not need. I keep getting the run around, and in anticipation of that happening yet again, I wrote Dr. Qubaiah a blunt and to the point letter last night which I mailed after school today. I let him know that I was a passive patient for 5 years while being told I had irritible bowel syndrome and "nerves" because school was getting ready to start. I sent him a copy of the results of a scan which had been done in December, 2009, which stated an irregularity on my kidneys and spleen. I told him that I am no longer going to be a passive patient and that I would appreciate him ordering the scan. When my gynocologist gave me the carcinoid/carcinoid syndrome news on December 16 with absolutely no compassion, it was the worst day of my life. I prefer to not have any more surprises like that!

Please remember me in your prayers as I climb this mountain!

The Testing Begins

2010-09-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

I went to OU Medical Center to have my blood drawn (6 vials!!!) on September 1. When I checked in, I was told it would be about 5 minutes (I was the only patient there), which turned into 30 minutes. The receptionist went back to check on why it was taking so long, and SHE was gone for an eternity. Finally the vampire came out to get me and was very apologetic that I had to wait so long...they were having trouble finding what they needed to draw my blood??? I didn't quite understand the issue, but at least I didn't have to make another trip down there.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a call from Dr. Qubaiah's office regarding the octreotide scan and the CT scan I'm to have done at the end of September. I requested Friday the 24th since we're out of school and late afternoon on the 23rd (for the injection prior) since we're out early that day. Several days went by without a return phone call, so I called the person handling the scheduling and learned that it was in the process of being scheduled. Several more days went by and I called again and learned that I have to go in the morning of the 22nd for the injection, the afternoon of the 23rd for the first scan and possibly the 24th for a second scan. When I asked her about the MIBG I-123 scan, she said she has contacted Dr. Qubaiah's PA, who hasn't given her an answer regarding what is going on with that procedure, so I'm guessing she hasn't contacted Dr. Boudreaux. I'm really frustrated...

My New Oncologist!

2010-09-05T15:42:00.000-07:00

August 2 I met my new oncologist, Dr. Qubaiah, at OU Medical Center. After having read the highway signs incorrectly (and heading south on I-35 instead of north on 235), I made it to the appointment in one piece. I was impressed with the facility (except they charge for parking), and I was promptly escorted to the exam room at 8:00 a.m. (my appointment time). I first met with Dr. Qubaiah's PA, which was an inconvenience since the same questions she asked, he asked later. I should be accustomed to that by now, especially at a teaching facility, but I find it very tedious.

Once Dr. Qubaiah came in, everything went well until I handed him a list of blood work and scans Dr. Boudreaux requested I have done (at specific times during the month of September) before my return to New Orleans in October. All the procedures are typical for carcinoid patients, and I've had them all done with the exception of an MIBG I-123 scan, which is a whole body image. Dr. Qubaiah literally put on his brakes and said he didn't agree with that request and because I have carcinoid, there's no reason for me to have that scan. Of course, I couldn't remember the reason Dr. Boudreaux gave me for having the scan, but it made perfect sense when he explained it this past July. Finally Dr. Qubaiah cooled down and told his PA to contact Dr. Boudreaux to determine the reason he wanted the scan.

He seemed to take issue with the fact that certain procedures were to be done at certain times during September. He explained that (with the exception of the MIBG I) he would have ordered the same tests and scans, but he would have ordered them sooner. I held firm and let him know I wanted to follow Dr. Boudreaux' orders. He finally backed down and wrote up the orders for the blood work for the first part of September.

I have an appointment with him on September 27 at 8:00 a.m. (another mark against him...he's only in the office on Monday mornings) to discuss the results of the procedures. Hopefully that appointment will go a little smoother. Were he a carcinoid expert, I would allow him a big ego, but according to what the office staff told me, he doesn't have very many carcinoid patients. As far as I'm concerned, New Orleans is calling the shots with my health, and I'm not even sure why I need an oncologist here, but Dr. Boudreaux told me I do, so I will.

Surgery Follow-up

2010-07-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, July 13, Jessica and I took a marathon trip to New Orleans for my follow-up appointment. We left the house at 4:45 a.m. and returned that evening at about 10:40. Was I ever tired, but we had a fun day!! We arrived in New Orleans a little after 10:00 and took a taxi to the French Quarter. We strolled through the area for nearly two hours, then had lunch in an outdoor cafe', complete with pigeons begging for food. After lunch we hailed a taxi to take us to the clinic (a first for me) for my 2:00 appointment. We weren't sure what we were going to do after my appointment to kill time until our 7:00 p.m. flight, but it turned out we didn't need to concern ourselves with that minor detail...we didn't leave the clinic until after 4:30, so we went straight to the airport. As we were walking into Subway for supper, we heard someone call Jessica's name. I couldn't imagine who in the world have known her in New Orleans, but it turned out that four of her sorority sisters were headed to OKC from a convention in Orlando and they were on our flight home. It's a small world!

One thing I really like about Dr. Boudreaux is that he doesn't get in a hurry when he sees his patients. He takes his time and makes sure that all questions are answered. I have to admit, though, that it's not much fun having to wait your turn. I received a good report, though, so it was worth the wait. My incision is healing very well, and the markers for tumor growth were all very low (which is a good thing). Apparently the tumors were "treated" in the lab with a variety of substances, one of which was black raspberry. The results indicated that black raspberry had a postive effect on my tumors, so Dr. Boudreaux suggested that I eat them to hopefully keep any tumors from growing. They are not available locally, and to ship a five pound bag of frozen berries costs almost as much as the berries themselves. I guess you can't put a price tag on health, though, so I will get them ordered today. (This is my last "free" week, so I'm kicking into gear and trying to get a lot of things done.)

My next visit to New Orleans will be in October, but I won't get to see Dr. Boudreaux. He's a surgeon and is basically finished with me, for now at least, so I will be seeing Dr. Woltering. I have a list of scans and tests that have to be completed in September to check my progress, so not much fun there. Of course, I was hoping to make the trip over fall break, but Dr. Woltering isn't in the office on Thursdays and Fridays, so I have to go earlier in the week. I'm not crazy about having to miss school, but I really have no choice in the matter.

I have been in the process of acquiring a new oncologist since my surgery, and finally accomplished that this past week. His name is Dr. Qubaiah, and he's at the OU Medical Center. I will meet him on Monday, August 2.

Friday, July 16 was my seven-month milestone.

It's About Time!!!

2010-07-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

As I recover from my surgery (May 27), and watch my summer slip by, I find that procrastination has come to the forefront. I don't feel overly bad about it however, because on August 2 I'm back on the clock and life will become fast and furious once again.

Danny and I headed to New Orleans on Sunday, May 23, and the more we packed the more Daphne (the cat) became nervous. She hid before we left, so we weren't able to tell her goodbye, and when Jess came to check on her throughout the week, I guess she was pretty pathetic. She showed us, though...when we got back from New Orleans, she took one look at us, hid under the bed and wouldn't come out for quite some time.

On Sunday, we drove 3/4 of the way to New Orleans and on Monday took a scenic drive which took us closer to the gulf. We went over some amazing bridges and saw some shrimp boats (Danny's goal) and saw several fields of sugar cane. We came really close to taking a bayou tour (world famous) but decided against it. We arrived at Hope Lodge late Monday afternoon and got settled in. Hope Lodge was built by the American Cancer Society and is totally free for cancer patients and their families while the patient is in treatment. As fate would have it, our room was available for the entire time we needed it. It's a really nice facility and the staff was very accommodating.

Tuesday, I had my appointment with Dr. Boudreaux, and it was like meeting a celebrity. Danny and I had watched a presentation he gave at a seminar sponsored by the Carcinoid Foundation, and that presentation cinched the deal for us...there was nowhere better for me to have surgery than New Orleans with Dr. Boudreaux. He spent a lot of time with us explaining the surgery and after looking at the CT scans I took with me, spotted a primary tumor on my small intestine (since December 16, I had been told that the primary tumor was in my mesentery, which doesn't happen). After asking permission to freeze tumors for further study, etc., Dr. Boudreaux asked, "Wanna?" and without skipping a beat I replied "I wanna".

So the process began. My insurance had to be called for permission (which they granted in a very short amount of time), then I was sent to the lab for 13 (no joke) vials of blood to be drawn and an EKG. Finally around 2:00 or so, starved to death, we were able to go about our business. I was to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. on Thursday morning for 7:30 surgery, which gave us half a day Wednesday to sight see (pre-op prep was to begin at noon).

Wednesday morning, we set off toward Mississippi and the gulf coast on a very pretty highway. The sand was beautiful, people were fishing, and Danny was able to see more shrimp boats. We then circled around so we could go over the 34-mile bridge over Lake Ponchetrain, which was a true adventure. Due to the curvature of the earth, it's not possible to see the shoreline across the lake until you're about halfway across, and that was a little unsettling. We made it across in good shape and enjoyed the view.

Thursday morning, 5:30 a.m., we arrived at the hospital and within a short amount of time, I was being prepared for surgery. My biggest dread is always the IV, and I can always tell if it's going to be a good or bad experience just by the temperament of the vampire. The nurses decided I needed something to calm me down, but they didn't give it to me until the IV was in place (a lot of help THAT was!). (The first attempt failed, and even though Danny and I told them I don't want any details, the nurse felt compelled to let me know what happened.) So that's pretty much all I remember until I woke up in ICU...

As for the surgery, Dr. Boudreaux has performed over 300 similar ones, so I was in very good hands. He and his team did several things, and it took about 5 or 6 hours. They removed both ovaries, scraped my uterus (but I don't know what they scraped), removed my gall bladder, found 2 primary tumors on my small intestine and removed a portion of my intestine, removed a small portion of my liver, and put my small intestine back where it belonged...it was twisted and fused to my liver. I didn't get any pathology results due to Memorial weekend, so I don't know the state of my health at this point. I'm trying to focus on recovering (the surgery was equal to 3 major surgeries) and I'll find out where I stand when I go to my follow-up appointment on Tuesday, July 13. Needless to say, I have a list of questions to ask while I'm there!

June 1, I was released from the hospital, and in spite of the doctor's advice to make the 12-hour drive in 2 days instead of 1, we made the drive in 1. Danny made a pallet for me in the back of the Suburban, and I was quite comfortable there, so I saw no reason to stop and spend the night anywhere. Danny wasn't tired, we left New Orleans at 8:30 a.m., so we made it home by 9:00 p.m. Was it ever good to be home!!

I had a visitor while I was in the hospital...my cousin George and his wife from Houston. Their son lives about 90 miles from New Orleans, so they made the drive to see us. How thoughtful of them, especially since my crazy physical therapist chose that time to come in an work with me. I really appreciated the visit, though, however short!

Who Dat?

2010-05-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I've updated my blog, but I've been waiting for insurance to approve my trip to New Orleans to meet with a carcinoid specialist and potentially have surgery. I received the news today that insurance has approved the consultation, and when I got home from school I had a message from the Oschner Clinic in New Orleans to schedule my appointment. I'm scheduled for 10:00 this Tuesday, the 25th, and I will meet with Dr. Boudreaux, who delivered an incredible presentation at a symposium hosted by the Carcinoid Foundation. Danny found the video online and we watched it several times and learned that the primary tumor probably isn't in my mezentery, as the doctors here are telling me. In the process of scheduling the appointment and answering a variety of questions, the nurse confirmed that suspicion...the primary is usually not in the mezentery. Needless to say, I'm really excited for the opportunity to meet with Dr. Boudreaux.

If I am a candidate for surgery, Dr. Woltering (the surgeon) has an opening on Thursday, the 27th, so perhaps I can have the consultation and surgery all in one trip. I'm feeling really good about the situation, although I hate missing the last week of school. The flip side is that I will have all summer to get back on my feet.

This past Sunday, May 16, marked my 5-month milestone.

The Plot Thickens

2010-04-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

Danny found a video of a panel of doctors who attended a symposium held by the Carcinoid Foundation. We watched the videos of two doctors who specialize in carcinoid, and the actual panel discussion, and were really enlightened. It seems that the primary carcinoid tumor could be as small as a pin point or as large as a grain of rice. With that being said, the tumor located in my mezentery is apparently NOT my primary tumor as my oncologist has been telling me. (This leads us to wonder exactly how much my oncologist really knows about carcinoid, especially since she asked me if I wanted a general surgeon to operate on my mezentery.)

We were extremely impressed with the two doctors, one of whom practices in New Orleans, and has had much success in locating and removing primary tumors, thus extending the lifespan of the patients. I had an appointment with Dr. Chohan this past Thursday, and I asked her if she had/has other carcinoid patients whose tumor is located in the mezentery. She assured me she does/has, and I asked her where she sends those patients. She told me New Orleans (to the clinic where the video doctor practices). She was quite ready to get the ball rolling to refer me to the New Orleans clinic and get me scheduled for mid-June. I put her off because I have to check with my insurance about coverage, and because I have an appointment with an oncologist from the Integrist Cancer Institute this Friday afternoon. However, after having watched the videos, Danny and I are convinced that New Orleans is the way to go. It will take a lot to convince me otherwise.

I am feeling really good these days, except for tummy and back issues, but I am able to work all day and have enough energy to do things around the house. I am so very thankful for that! A month ago, I didn't know if I'd ever have the energy to function normally again.

I am very grateful for all the prayers, thoughts and cards throughout this journey. They lift me up more than I could have ever imagined!

April Showers Bring May Flowers

2010-04-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

I'm probably the only person on earth who is loving all the gentle rain we've had since Friday! It's refreshing and relaxing and cleansing.

Friday, April 16 was my four-month milestone. It also marked one week back at school, half-days. That went well, and I have gained strength everyday, so I'm shooting for all day this week. I am hopeful that I can make it. It's just as tiring to work half-days and have to get things ready for the last two classes as it is to stay all day, I think.

Today I'm doing a 24-hour urine collection to check for carcinoid markers. Hopefully, the count has gone down since the two chemo emobilization treatments. My next step is to have my tumor debulked (reduced) and I'm still in search of a surgeon. I contacted the Integris Cancer Institute this past week and if the person I spoke with communicated with her co-workers correctly, I am a candidate for their organization. Of course, the person who schedules appointments was not available, so I'll call back Monday morning. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but if in fact they do treat carcinoid patients, perhaps they have a surgeon who has operated on a mezentery before. Danny read online that a debulking surgery can take as long as 12 hours and it's followed by chemo (yuck!). Needless to say, I want someone who knows what he/she is doing if I'm going to be in surgery for up to 12 hours!

On a side note, I've battled with trying to grow a clematis for the past four or five years. Danny sprayed my first plant (which didn't do too well its first year) with Round-up, and the replacement was slow to take off. Last year it had one blossom before the sun took its toll. This past week I strolled through my backyard, and lo and behold -- the clematis had grown to the top of its trellis and was loaded with buds!! I checked it today and it has five or six blossoms!! I'm taking it as a sign from God, and am very thankful.

Spring is in the Air

2010-04-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

I feel I have missed so much this year during my recovery process, but I count my blessings that I had so many sick days accumulated. I have had the luxury of recovering without having to worry about my job, but it has still been frustrating. Neither my doctor nor the radiologist gave me any indication that I would feel like I had run into a brick wall, yet after the fact, all symptoms and ailments were "just part of it" and to be expected.

For so many weeks I had trouble making it through a quick shower. I would nearly pass out and have to lie down as soon as I got out. Make-up and hair were not done unless I had to go to an appointment, and then I had to push myself to get through those two tasks. Friday night date night (Alfredo's) has been a big effort, but it always made me feel good to go through the grooming process and go out in public.

Easter is "my" holiday to cook, but since I have trouble preparing a batch of biscuits without having to sit down twice during the process, I decided to forego hosting this year, so Rick and Tracey did the honors. I had been doing pretty well, gaining strength and feeling good, then had a setback on Friday night. After our date night, I went home feeling queasy. Before bed, I threw up, but it wasn't a food poisoning reaction...I threw up once and felt better. Saturday, however, I couldn't get out of bed. Sunday, it took every fiber in my being to get ready and make it to Easter dinner. Feeling hot and clammy, I made it through dinner and after a nap, was ready for dinner number two at Mom and Dad's.

My plan was to go back to school on Monday, but I decided to wait until Thursday. Two weeks ago, I acquired a pain in my right shoulder, which prompted a CT scan. The scan showed nothing out of the ordinary...I have a dying tumor near my diaphragm (I'm feeling it)...but the pain in my abdomen and shoulder are uncomfortable when I cough, sneeze, or breathe deeply. I have to take pain pills or Tylenol to keep the pain in check, and even so, there's only one comfortable sleeping position...on my back...and that gets old pretty quickly. The enzymes in my liver are elevated due to the dying tumors, so I have bile rubin which is not being processed (no adverse side effects).

My challenge now is to find a surgeon to do the debulking procedure on my mezentery. I am at a total loss on how to do this. I prefer a surgeon who has performed such a surgery before, but have no idea how to locate one. Dr. Chohan asked if I was OK with the surgeon whom I met on December 16 when this all came about, but I just don't feel she is the person for the task. My next doctor's appointment is April 21, at which time debulking will be discussed.

Procedure Update

2010-03-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

The second chemo embolization procedure seems to have been a success, so much so that I won't have to go through the third procedure as suggested by the radiologist. For that I'm very grateful, because the procedures aren't too much fun. The second one went a lot better than the first...I was SO much more alert immediately after and during my hospital stay. I DID have a lot of stomach pains immediately after and it took a while for the pain meds to kick in and make me comfortable. Dr. Lee suggested that the naproxin I took after the first procedure could have possibly thickened the wall of my stomach and caused the pain. I also had several instances of throwing up, which I didn't have the first time, and was certainly glad when that finally came to an end.

I came home from the hospital on Saturday (February 27), and the recovery has been very slow. In spite of the fact that I was so much more alert after the procedure, recovery has not been any more rapid. Taking a shower still wears me out as do putting on make-up and doing my hair. I plan to go back to school the Monday after spring break, and am saying my prayers that I'll be able to handle it. Danny and I had our Friday night date night at Alfredo's this past Friday, and it was a major accomplishment. The next night we went to Hunan Garden, which was also a major accomplishment and didn't have the same effect as the last time we ate there.

I went to see Dr. Chohan last week, and she said she's going to give me six weeks to mend and then we'll talk about debulking the tumor in my mesentery and removing my left ovary. Danny and I are lost now...we would really like to have the tumor removed (we understand it's in a tricky location, but shouldn't there be some kind of radiation to zap it??) because if it stays, it will just continue to grow and metastisize.

That's about all that's new for now. Jessica turned 21 on March 13 and is in Dallas this week with a group from UCO doing things at Ronald McDonald House and the Gilda house. The first day they were there, Jess had to drive the van because their adviser was sick and couldn't go. It fell on Jess because she works for the university and is 21. Who'da thought?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

2010-03-17T18:08:00.001-07:00

Three-month milestone.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

2010-02-21T16:41:00.000-08:00

It doesn't make me nauseous to think of posting to my blog anymore, so I'll post some news. I've been back at school teaching 3 hours a day since Tuesday the 16th, and will continue the same Monday through Wednesday of this week. I'm feeling pretty good today, although my abdomen hurts when I take a deep breath. Last week I felt the same but had (left) shoulder pains, my heart hurt and I just felt miserable. Friday I spoke with Nurse Shelly at Dr. Chohan's office and she told me that my body really took a hit with the chemo embolization procedure and that my pains mean the chemo is killing the tumors in my liver. She told me to take my pain pills (which I do at night since they knock me out), and to take 2 Naproxen in the morning and 2 in the evening, and to take 2 Pepcid in the morning and 2 in the evening. Those things really help the discomfort, but I still have a low energy level.

Danny and I went to a Chinese buffet last night and the food actually had flavor! I ate 2 plates full plus a cookie for dessert! Today I've nibbled all day long...not necessarily healthy food, but food with flavor, so maybe there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thursday I report to Baptist Hospital at 7:00 a.m. and am scheduled at 12:30 for my second chemo embolization. (Hopefully I'll go in on time!!) This time I'm not so excited about it and am actually dreading it because I dread the recovery process. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised...I AM better prepared this time...I have lesson plans ready through Friday, March 12.

Thank you to all of you following my blog, sending cards, calling to check on me and praying for me!! I feel very loved and cared for. Until the next time, "The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention." Duguet (I have lots of good intentions, and fortunately for me, you do good deeds!)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

2010-02-17T15:41:00.000-08:00

I have survived the first round of chemoembolization! There was nothing about it that was fun or enjoyable and I truly thought I was dying. During my flat-on-my-back six-to-eight hour recovery afterward, I told Danny I thought we had made a mistake going through the process. Here's how that day went:

Danny and I arrived at Baptist Medical Center at our scheduled 7:00 a.m. and hung out until 10:00 a.m. when I was taken to a temporary room to wait for my procedure. The caregiver assigned to me about blew up my left arm taking my blood pressure...literally. It became more and more painful as the cuff continued to pump up and up, and I finally jerked the cuff off when my arm turned nearly black. She finally got a different piece of equipment, and things went much better after that. Next came the IV...fortunately, my nurse didn't have a big ego and when I explained to her my difficulty with having IV's inserted, she turned me over to Daniel Smith, who was absolutely wonderful.

My procedure was scheduled for 1:00 p.m., but the holding room was absolutely packed and it was well after 5:00 before I was taken in. At that point I had a panic attack, and fortunately the drugs got me through it. There was some issue with the left lobe of my liver (Danny explained it to me, but I can't remember what he said) so it took about twice as long as the radiologist anticipated. Hopefully that's why my recovery has been so tough, and the next 2 rounds won't be as bad.

I had an appointment with Dr. Chohan on Feb. 3 and she seemed to think things were progressing normally. She thought I would be able to return to work on Monday the 8th, which didn't happen. I was still having nausea and daily chills and fever. A week later, I called Dr. Lee's office and described my symptoms and he thought I should give it a couple more days. Forty-five minutes later, he called me (after having conferred with his partner) and wanted me to go to Baptist for a CT scan to make sure the tumors hadn't abcessed. I wasn't supposed to drive in case they had to drain the tumors, so I was in a pickle...Danny was out by Enid and Jess was going to be the only person at work that day, so fortunately cousin Kyle was available to take me. Since they were going to work me in, I insisted he didn't need to stay with me because Danny would be there in a couple of hours. I have never been worked in so quickly in my life! Plus, (fortunately) I had no abcesses, so I was good to go a good hour before Danny would be there to get me. So, Danny called Kyle who graciously came back to pick me up. (Thank you so very much!!)

Dr. Lee gave me a prescription for Naproxen to nip the daily chills and fever in the bud, which did the trick. I decided to bite the bullet and go to school for 2 hours on Friday, Feb. 12, which went OK except for the fact that I was totally exhausted by the time those 2 hours were over. Monday the 15th was staff development, so I went in for 3 hours to work on grading. That went a little better. On Tuesday, I went in for 4th, 5th and 6th hours, which wasn't a good idea. By the time I went in, my energy level had dropped and it was a struggle to make it through. So, for the rest of the week, I will be working 2nd, 3rd and 4th hours, and I think that will be better.

Thursday the 11th, I went to Dr. Chohan's office to get my 2nd Sandostatin injection. Since the embolization, I haven't had any flushing, so I'm really excited for that. My biggest issue is that my heart hurts, and I take Pepcid twice a day. Food still has little flavor for the most part, and the thought of some foods, drinks, smells and activities make me nauseous. It's really weird.

My next procedure will be on Thursday, February 25, report time 7:00 a.m., procedure at 1:00. Yeah, right!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

2010-02-17T15:21:00.000-08:00

Today is World Marriage Day, so all married couples were called up to the altar at church to renew our vows. Wow! It was awesome and touching, and I had tears streaming down my cheeks the entire time. "Til death do us part" has an entirely different meaning than it had 23 years ago!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

2010-02-17T15:18:00.001-08:00

Today is my 2-month milestone.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

2010-02-09T16:28:00.000-08:00

I survived the chemoembolization process, but it really got me down a lot worse than I had anticipated. (I'll post those details later.) I went home the day after the process and was miserable. I felt like I had a sunburn, my mouth was grainy, I was nauseous, and food had absolutely no flavor. Dr. Chohan called in a prescription for my grainy mouth, which has cleared up, and food is gradually beginning to have flavor, and if not flavor, then a sensation such as salty or sweet.

I had an appointment on Feb. 3 with Dr. Chohan, and learned I had a fever of 101. She said it's the tumors dying in my liver, and that I'm responding exactly as I should. Round 2 will be in early March, and the process will repeat itself. I had planned to go back to school yesterday, but the fever is a daily pattern, beginning at 3:00 p.m. with chills which turn into a fever 3 hours later and it disappears by morning. I haven't been in touch with Dr. Lee's office (the radiologist who performed the chemoembolization), so I think it's time to give him a call just to make sure everything is OK.

I appreciate all the thoughts, prayers, phone calls and cards! I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many caring friends and family and students and co-workers. Please keep me in your prayers...my goal is to get up and around and back to school SOON so I can build up my strength and hopefully rebound a little better from the next procedure.

Chemoembolization Procedure

2010-01-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

My procedure has been scheduled for Tuesday, January 26 at 12:30 p.m. at Baptist. I'm ready to get the show on the road, and am planning to be back at school on the following Monday...I have to be...I don't have any lesson plans ready beyond Friday the 29th!! :) (It's not procrastination...it's taking one step at a time.)

The Sandostatin is still working and the flushing has really decreased. My stomach still hurts, but my main issue seems to be allergies right now. Some of my students said I should sue my doctor for not having diagnosed this disease, since I've complained to her about my stomach problems for the past 5 years. I stressed to them the importance of pushing a doctor to dig a little deeper instead of whipping out the prescription pad or blaming symptoms on stress. I regret that I didn't demand an X-ray or CT scan, but I'm glad Dr. La ordered the ultrasound which found the mass on my left ovary. I would not have left his office that day in November had he not done something. The pain was excrutiating by then.

Thank you Alisha, Kyle/Shannon and Brooke for your very nice comments! I'm new at this and can't figure out how to reply to you (if it's even possible), but please know that your kind words were very uplifting.

January 16, 2010 marked my first one-month milestone.

2010-01-18T18:58:00.001-08:00

Radiologist Consulation: January 15, 2010

2010-01-18T18:56:00.000-08:00

(My 54th birthday) I had a consult appointment with my radiologist, Dr. Le, and Danny and I both were really impressed with him. He spent nearly an hour with us, very clearly explaining the chemoembolization procedure which I will soon undergo, and answered many questions we had about my carcinoid. He even showed us the film from my Octreotide scan, and it was interesting to see the tumors.

So...chemoembolization is a combination of delivering chemo to the tumors in my liver and then trapping it in the blood vessels which supply blood to the tumors. The chemo will be injected through my hepatic artery via a catheter (ouch!) as will the embolic agents, which block the chemo in the blood vessels. The procedure takes approximately 90 minutes and I'll be in recovery for 6-8 hours. I will spend at least one night in the hospital, and should be able to resume "normal" activities within a week.

Unlike our presumption that this would be a one-time procedure, chemoembolization is about a 6-week process. The first procedure will target one lobe of the liver, then 2 weeks later, the second lobe will be treated, then 2 weeks later, the entire liver will be treated. I'm certainly not looking forward to all the IV's and catheters, and if more tumors metastasize, the procedure will have to be repeated in 10-14 months.

Reactions to the chemo may include nausea and hair loss, but since the most of the chemo will be trapped in my liver, the reactions should be mild. I am confident they will be non-existent and my hair will stay intact.

First Sandostatin Injection: January 11, 2010

2010-01-18T17:40:00.000-08:00

I got the first injection of Sandostatin LAR on January 11, after quite an ordeal at the pharmacy. My friend, Karen, went to the doctor's office with me for moral support because I didn't really know what to expect. The week prior, (nurse) Sandy said that small, sandy particles will be injected into my hip, which was a little unsettling. The injection wasn't bad at all, and before I knew it, it was over. The sandy particles are actually time-release particles that release throughout the month to keep the hormone symptoms under control.

Five minutes after the injection, I felt a little dizzy and within 10 minutes, a little woozy, but I made it home in one piece. That evening, I noticed a marked decrease in flushing and felt really good until I went to bed that evening. I had a painful burning in my stomach similar to what I have felt in the past when taking antibiotics. Fortunately, the feeling didn't last too long, and the next day I felt better than I had in quite some time.

The injection site has become increasingly tender throughout the week, but is not nearly as uncomfortable as the flushing incidents. The injection will be alternated between hips each month, and I'm curious to see what happens to the tenderness as time progresses. The next injection will be on February 11.

"Solutions are not the answer." - Richard Nixon (January 6, 2010)

2010-01-17T12:24:00.000-08:00

Danny and Jessica picked me up at school for my oncologist appointment on Wednesday, January 6. The day I had looked forward to had finally arrived, and I got scared. Really scared. Was I really ready for the final diagnosis? After having spent a week wanting to find out, anxious to find out, the reality of it hit me like a ton of bricks. And in we went...

The results of all the tests and scans showed that I do have carcinoid and carcinoid syndrome, and nothing was found other than the tumor in the mesentery and the lesions on my liver. Even the mass on my ovary is unrelated, for which I am grateful, but the ovary will still need to be removed at a later date.

The course of action for my treatment includes a monthly shot of Sandostatin LAR, 30 mg, (octreotide) for the rest of my life to counteract my flushing. The shot costs $4,000, and according to Dr. Ch's insurance person, my portion each month will cost $650. She gave me information about a foundation called the Health Well Foundation which provides assistance to persons who qualify financially. One of the application requirements is a letter or form from the insurance company stating that the treatment is covered by my insurance. In my quest to obtain the letter/form, I stumbled on a subsidiary company which provides specialty medicines at a reduced cost. Sandostatin is covered under the prescription portion of my insurance, so I should be able to get it through the subsidiary company via mail order for $50 a month. Much better than $650 a month!! I'm so grateful to Amy at Health Choice for telling me about it!

Within the next 3 weeks I will have to be admitted to the hospital for a hepatic artery embolization, but Dr. Ch could not give us any details about the procedure...we will have a consultation with the radiologist within the week. She does not feel I need to have the mesentery tumor de-bulked (reduced) at this time, but I'm not sure why. I will address that later because I'm eating this elephant one bite at a time.

So, as bleak as the diagnosis is, I'm happy and relieved it's not any worse. Danny and Jessica are, too. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be 20 and find out your mom has cancer...

"What we see depends mainly on what we look for." John Lubbock (December 16-31, 2009)

2010-01-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

The morning of Wednesday, December 16, I went to the hospital for an abdominal CT scan ordered by my ob/gyn as a pre-op procedure for the removal of my left ovary. Surgery was scheduled for Monday, December 21. Following the CT scan, I met with my ob/gyn for a pre-op consultation regarding the removal of my ovary, which has a 2-inch mass on it. "Dr. La" (ob/gyn) gravely gave me the news that my lower torso ailments were no longer of a gynecological nature...in addition to the mass on my ovary, something is wrapped around my colon,I have multiple lesions on my liver and something in my small bowel. He apologized for being blunt, but wanted me to know that things do not look good. Stunned, I asked him what I should do, and he said I should see a surgeon. He made a phone call to a general surgeon, "Dr. T", and asked her to see me immediately. Fortunately, she was able to see me that morning. Before I left his office, he asked me a key question...are my hot flashes accompanied by red flushing on my face? They are.

I numbly sat in Dr. T's office, filling out the required paperwork, alone (I saw no need to have family come with me for a routine procedure) and crying, thinking that my parents didn't deserve to lose another child (my brother died at the age of 3 from a heart condition) and that I wasn't ready to die and leave my husband and daughter. Two of Dr. La's staff members came to check on me and offer support, and later Dr. La came by as well. I think they were as shocked as I.

I found Dr. T to be very caring and compassionate and she diagnosed me with carcinoid (a very slow-growing cancer, which originated in my mesentery) and carcinoid syndrome (the cancer metasized to my liver and produces hormones which cause extreme hot flashes with a red face, called "flushing"). Because the cancer is slow-growing, Dr. T told me to relax.  It had taken the carcinoid at least 5 years to get to its current state (that's how long I had complained to my primary care physician about having stomach problems). She also said that I would have to go through a series of tests to confirm her diagnosis, and that surgery may or may not be an option for me because of the size and location of the tumor in my mesentery.

Dr. T referred me to an oncologist who offices in OKC, but comes to Yukon every Wednesday afternoon. As luck would have it, December 16 was on a Wednesday, so I met "Dr. Ch" later that afternoon. It wouldn't have mattered...I would have driven to the ends of the earth for that appointment...

My husband, Danny, was in Ft. Worth that day, so I had to give him the good news (no surgery on Monday) and the bad news (I have cancer) over the phone. I called my daughter, Jessica, to come home from college to take my parents to a doctor's appointment which was scheduled for the same time as my oncologist appointment. When she got home and I told her about my disease, she took over my online research, and decided it might be a good idea for her to go with me to my appointment.  I made the difficult phone call to tell Mom that I wouldn't be able to take them to Dad's appointment because I had an appointment at the same time due to what the CT scan showed that morning. "Is it cancer?" she asked and I dodged the question by telling her that it's possibly carcinoid.

Jessica and I met Dr. Ch at 4:30 that afternoon, and as her nurse took my vitals, she rambled on about this and that and how chemo is done right there in the office and so on. Chemo. This journey began with a mass on my left ovary and now I'm hearing about chemo??!!

Dr. Ch was very informative and told us the same information we had found in our research that afternoon.  She explained the tests and scans that would need to be done within the next few days to confirm the diagnosis. Testing began December 20-21 with a 24-hour urine test called "5-HIAA". The test checks for an excess amount of a substance made by the body when it breaks down serotonin. An excess amount of that substance could mean that the body is processing extra serotonin, which is commonly excreted by carcinoid tumors. The results of my 5-HIAA test indicated that my hydroxyindoleacetic acid level is high.

December 23, I went to Baptist Medical Center in OKC to have a liver biopsy. Hating needles and having to have an IV, I became a pin cushion with bruises that lasted several days. It seems you can tell by looking who will be gentle and who will be a vampire, and I definitely had 2 Victorias that day!! Finally on the 7th or 8th try, the nurse was successful, and the biopsy went well, except, of course for the diagnosis of carcinoid tumor which had metastasized.   Synaptophysin and chromogranin both tested positive, and the measurement of chromogranin has been referred to as the "gold standard" for confirming carcinoid. I'm not sure what synaptophysin is.

December 29-31, I had an octreotide scan to confirm and precisely locate the tumors. The 29th involved an (IV) injection of octreotide, and the technologist decided it might be wise if I lay down for the injection (after my reaction to the news of an IV, along with the bruises on my arms and hands from the week before). The technologist was very kind and distracted me with pleasant conversation, and before I knew it, he had injected the octreotide.  Octreotide attaches itself to carcinoid tumors, and during a scan 24 hours later, the tumors lit up, allowing a diagnosis of their location(s). In addition, octreotide is injected in patients with carcinoid syndrome to counteract the symptoms caused by the hormones produced by the tumors. I noticed relief of my symptoms from the octreotide which had been injected for the scan, and that was nice.

So, with all the tests and scans out of the way, I spent the rest of Christmas break anticipating my next oncology appointment on Jan. 6, and hoping I wasn't full of tumors. I wasn't being negative, just trying to be prepared.