Spring is in the Air

I feel I have missed so much this year during my recovery process, but I count my blessings that I had so many sick days accumulated.  I have had the luxury of recovering without having to worry about my job, but it has still been frustrating.  Neither my doctor nor the radiologist gave me any indication that I would feel like I had run into a brick wall, yet after the fact, all symptoms and ailments were "just part of it" and to be expected.

For so many weeks I had trouble making it through a quick shower.  I would nearly pass out and have to lie down as soon as I got out.  Make-up and hair were not done unless I had to go to an appointment, and then I had to push myself to get through those two tasks.  Friday night date night (Alfredo's) has been a big effort, but it always made me feel good to go through the grooming process and go out in public. 

Easter is "my" holiday to cook, but since I have trouble preparing a batch of biscuits without having to sit down twice during the process, I decided to forego hosting this year, so Rick and Tracey did the honors.  I had been doing pretty well, gaining strength and feeling good, then had a setback on Friday night.  After our date night, I went home feeling queasy.  Before bed, I threw up, but it wasn't a food poisoning reaction...I threw up once and felt better.  Saturday, however, I couldn't get out of bed.  Sunday, it took every fiber in my being to get ready and make it to Easter dinner.  Feeling hot and clammy, I made it through dinner and after a nap, was ready for dinner number two at Mom and Dad's. 

My plan was to go back to school on Monday, but I decided to wait until Thursday.  Two weeks ago, I acquired a pain in my right shoulder, which prompted a CT scan.  The scan showed nothing out of the ordinary...I have a dying tumor near my diaphragm (I'm feeling it)...but the pain in my abdomen and shoulder are uncomfortable when I cough, sneeze, or breathe deeply.  I have to take pain pills or Tylenol to keep the pain in check, and even so, there's only one comfortable sleeping position...on my back...and that gets old pretty quickly.  The enzymes in my liver are elevated due to the dying tumors, so I have bile rubin which is not being processed (no adverse side effects).

My challenge now is to find a surgeon to do the debulking procedure on my mezentery.  I am at a total loss on how to do this.  I prefer a surgeon who has performed such a surgery before, but have no idea how to locate one.  Dr. Chohan asked if I was OK with the surgeon whom I met on December 16 when this all came about, but I just don't feel she is the person for the task.  My next doctor's appointment is April 21, at which time debulking will be discussed.